don't forget this stuff ...

Like jotting down notes on a scratch piece of paper, here I sit at twenty to two AM. I can barely breathe. I just took a benadryl hoping it would perform double duty open airways and get me to sleep. Sonora is coughing in the background in her sleep.



Saturday afternoon, I took Sonora to Chick Fil A for a kid's meal. The manager came up to us and said, "Hi how are you doing? I forgot your name, what is it again?" Sonora puts her open hand on my breastbone and says, "An-ta-tet" I about fell over in amazement. I didn't know that she knew me to be anything other than "ma ma." Even Daniel doesn't call me by my name ... it's cutie, honey, you name it ... but not my name. I look at Sonora and say, "what did you say? what's mommy's name?" And she did the whole hand motion thing again and said, "An-ta-tet." The emphasis on the An, like normal. I was proud of her.



These last few weeks we have been sick. Mostly Sonora. She has been to the doctor's 5 times in the last 3 weeks with all kinds of symptoms from vomiting 11 hours straight to a high fever to congestion. She calls Dr Reuben "daw cah boo-boo" When I say, "what do you say at the Doctor's? She opens her mouth and confidently says "ahhhhhh" but at the actual doctor's she says, "ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma maaaa"



Winnie the Pooh is Pooh!
Mickey Mouse has finally graduated from "Minnie" (she called them both Minnie) to Mickey
Pluto is Poo-poo
Goofy is Poof poof
Ariel is Ay-tee
Cinderella still Ella
Peter Pan is Pee-ah Pee
Donald Duck is Duck
Daisy Duck is Daisy

All Monkeys are called Boots *since Dora's monkey is boots. She also makes a PERFECT monkey imitation.

when she counts she says *2* over and over. She says it with emphasis each time.

She loves a tea party. When we drive, she points out letters from signs. She pronounces the letter S like the letter F every time.

She is not a fan of peanut butter and jelly. She likes gnocchi.

She says lemonmay for lemonade

she says ba ba ba ba when she wants us to sing ba ba black sheep.

her absolute favorite song when in the car is wheels on the bus and she does all hand motions for wheels go round, driver says move on back, horn goes beep, wipers go swish, babies go waaa, mommies go shhhh, but she doesn't do the one for daddys say I love you.

She calls brahams lullaby "Pa Pa" when she wants me to sing it because my dad sang it to her first and she thinks of it as Pa Pa's song.

When I say Butterfly, she always makes an fffff sound and flaps her wings in the air. I used to flap the 10 caterpillars book when we got to the end where the butterfly was. She also only makes the sound effect and taps her heart when i mention heart. She calls a star by name though. She now likes to put her ear to my chest and listen to my heart, as if to make sure it is still beating, when we see a heart or mention the word heart.

She has a very short temper.

She has no problem taking any kind of medicine. She asks for dahmtepap *dimetap* and emineh *m&m's*

When my cell phone rings, she always says, "Amy. Amy" When the house phone rings, she says, "Nonna, Papa"

If I am talking to Daniel on the phone, any phone, no matter what, she always says, "Da Da"

She loves getting our shoes for us. She knows what shoes belong to which person, and if she wants to go out, she will just bring our shoes to us no matter where we are in the house.

at night, she will ask about her grandparents, Nathan Lee, Jessa *dessa* Hanna *anna*, her cousin Emma, and then throw in whoever we saw that day and she wants to know what they are doing. Sometimes she will ask during the day as well, so I will go down the list with her and answer, "well, they are in school right now ..." or "they are asleep right now." Tonight, she actually added Dora and Boots to the people whom she wanted their whereabouts.

I think I am finally in a osition to go lay down I get claustrophobic when I can't breathe, and I am finally tired enough, and hoping I can breathe better than when I started. okay ... at least this stuff is documented now ... not full of emotion, which these memories definitely evoke emotions, but at least I got it all down ... good night.

PS I am 45 now. It isn't as old as I thought it was, but it feels older than I thought I would feel. I can't describe it ... I am sick, so I feel old, but on a good day, I think it's not so bad ... can you tell ... tired is setting in ...