Happy New Year's Adam

I don't know why, I just have to do it every year ... say Merry Christmas Adam on the 23rd and Happy New Year's Adam on the 30th, since Adam came before Eve. Okay ... so I did my last corny joke of the decade.

I am so blessed. I've been blessed all along, whether or not I felt blessed isn't the point. On Christmas Eve, Daniel got a call from the director of Fullerton Interfaith Community Shelter, and she left a message on his voicemail that said she was making him an offer on Monday. She just wanted to let him know before Christmas that he got the job. God be praised. Well, God be praised regardless.

This job is such a blessing. It will use all of Daniel's 15 years of experience at the Orange County Rescue Mission, and he will be able to work alongside his old mentor and dear friend, Jim Womak. The shelter is located about 3 miles from our home, cutting Daniel's commute time each way by at least an hour! The position was made possible by a grant, so it is only available until September 30th, which means Daniel has to find other employment in case the position is unable to be incorporated into a full time permanent position. Also, it doesn't pay as much as he was making at the Mission, and the healthcare is not affordable through this job, so Daniel decided to get a second job. He was blessed with an opportunity to work for the gas company. He will be working his way up in the hopes that if the shelter job doesn't come through in Sept, then he will at least have a position that he can move up in at the gas company.

We don't know how we are going to handle this new lifestyle, of Daniel being gone for so long. When he was managing the property at Hope Family Housing, he was able to work from home a majority of the time and Sonora and I were spoiled and blessed to have him in the next room. We already have been having withdrawals as he's been going on interviews left and right and working side jobs for his friend, Bruce Bender *Rob's dad*. What a blessing Bruce has been in the interim, allowing Daniel to take time off whenever needed to go on an interview.

Sonora is an amazing child, as many of you know. She is only 2 years and 2 months, and besides speaking English and Italian, she already knows how to spell her name, read some words, identify many states on the US map, sing entire songs ... I guess it comes with the territory of having mommy home all day and having an over-achieving, goal oriented mommy at that. I am not tying her to chairs with flashcards, just so you all know ... I make it fun and she has no idea she is being prepped for Harvard. She thinks it's just a game in the car till we get to the park.

This year, with it's ups and downs, has also brought alot of reconnecting with old friends through Facebook. I was an only child growing up and have always loved being around people. I love throwing parties, I love the hum of people laughing and congregating. I could fall asleep soundly if I heard my parents up and talking when I was a little girl ... must have felt like someone was up standing watch. Sonora is the same way, she will fall asleep easily on one of our shoulders even if we are in the middle of a heated discussion before she will let us put her into her quiet room and lay her alone on her bed. I wonder if Facebook will still be around when she is my age, and if she will like being connected with people from her past. I have so many friends that I love dearly and time and location have separated us, but my heart is still full of cherished memories and loving thoughts towards them (you) ...

I have much to look forward to. I also have much to prepare for ... Sonora's future. I have been thinking about her schooling, her future, how to teach her about God in a way that will equip her to choose Him for life. How do I show her His love without forcing it on her, yet allow her to crave it and understand her need for Him? Such a huge responsibility that I don't take lightly. I do trust, though, that God knew what He was doing when He put her in my care.

Thank you, all of you, who prayed for us during this uncertain time, these last 3 months while we were moving back home and trying to find the right job for Daniel. Your faithful friendship and unceasing outpouring of support have blessed us beyond measure. We can't even begin to show our gratitude for your friendship ... the kind of friendship that doesn't disappear when times are tough.

Happy and Blessed New Year, dear ones.

Wait and Trust

Daniel is still looking for a job. In the meantime, I try my hardest to be faithful, patient, loving, kind. I fail miserably a lot of the time, but I keep trying. I try to not think about the things that I fear, like not being able to afford health insurance or the mortgage. I have friends and family that have recently lost their homes. I have friends and family that are moved back in with parents, kids in tow. I can't believe it, everywhere I look, there is some kind of chaos happening. Still, I am so very thankful that my husband and daughter and I have each other, and have the Lord. God is the glue that is holding us together through this difficult time. He is the one who makes it possible for me to stop after church in the parking lot on the way to our car and tell Sonora to go jump in a rain puddle. God is the one who allows me to be inspired to get people together to go enjoy the Christmas lights in local neighborhoods and then say yes when Sonora wants to get out of the car and meet Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus. Because of the hope God put in me, I do not sit all day long, every day, and worry and cry, like I sometimes am tempted to do, but I get up, go out and take Sonora to enjoy our Disneyland pass, or push her for hours on the swings and try to teach her to share and take turns. I have not been full of grace and always gentle and the law of kindness has not always been on my tongue. I have not been the best example I could possibly be. I have been ducking and shielding myself from fiery arrows that the devil has been throwing at me to get me to quit moving forward. When I mess up, I don't beat myself up anymore, I am just thankful that when I stumble, I fall facing forward, because it means gaining positive ground! Daniel and I don't know where the next paycheck will come from, or if it will be enough, but we do know that God is our main Source, our Provider, our constant Hope. We aren't about to let this trial overtake us. We have seen worse things happen than someone losing a job. We know that it is more important to keep our eyes fixed on heaven and the things of God instead of the present circumstances. I wanted to write a Christmas newsletter to put in our cards that had a storybook ending where Daniel got the best job ever and Christmas bells were ringing. Instead, I look at the last picture here, where all Sonora wants to do is meet Baby Jesus, and I am humbled, knowing that she has it right and knowing Him is all that should really matter.

"Fairest of them All" contest ...

I realized that as soon as the Princess contest is over, all the stories will probably be deleted from the website, so I thought I'd better post Sonora's story here. There were 21,410 girls who entered, and Sonora made the top 50! We entered late in the competition with only 2 and a half weeks to vote ... I wonder what would have happened if we entered the first day! Still, what an accomplishment for someone who just happened to have a princess picture laying around and a last-minute prompt from a friend. Again, our hope was not to win the most votes, but to get her name high up enough in the polls for the judges to take notice of her face and her story. There were close to 3000 pages on the website when you went to "most votes", and Sonora was on page 7, so I think we accomplished our goal! Thank you to all who voted for her! We will find out the results sometime in the beginning of November.

My Princess Story

"Someday..."That's the answer my husband, Daniel and I would give when the inevitable "when are you having kids?" question was asked. After eight years of politely smiling and saying, "someday..." one particular doctor's visit turned our answer into: "hopefully someday" and then 2 years after that, our new revised answer became, "we're in the process of adopting."

Little did we know that Fairytales don't always have to include a wicked Queen for a stepmother or suspiciously shiny, red apples...

We tried to live life as normal as possible, but every time the phone rang, there would be a rush of adrenaline wondering if "this was the call." We had several calls, and then there were calls that said, "she changed her mind and is keeping the baby" or "she chose someone else." Someday seemed to be fading into the distance.

Then, the day after my 43rd birthday, something miraculous happened ... unfamiliar symptoms that resembled the flu turned into our doctor telling us, "I can't believe it, but you really are pregnant!"

Words can not express the shock, joy, the renewed hope, and the new fears that overtook us!Many stars were wished upon and many knees were bent in prayer to bring my pregnancy through difficult times to a real-life dream-come-true.

In October of 2007, shortly after we celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary, Sonora Adeline was born. There were no trumpets sounding from the palace rooftops, no fluffy godmothers waving wands and casting spells, just a team of doctors in an operating room and a lifetime full of family and friends in thankful tears congratulating us and showering us with love and encouragement as we joined the troops in the remarkable journey called "parenthood."

The day this princess contest ends, our Sonora will turn two, and what a wonder-filled 2 years this has been! Yes, she loves her Disney Princesses and all things bibbity~bobbity~boo. We know there are many, many kids out there who would love to win a trip to Florida, and we don't feel comfortable saying that Sonora "deserves" it more than anyone else. Of course we would be beyond thankful to win! We would cherish the opportunity to make magical memories at Walt Disney World, but if not, we hope that Sonora's story has touched you, the readers, and encouraged you to keep wishing on stars and bending those knees, because dreams really do come true!

Oh, and about that 4th prize ticket ...

We believe that even though our wish was granted and we had a baby of our own, we are still meant to continue on with the adoption. So, when asked if Sonora will be getting any brothers or sisters any time soon, we just smile and say, "Someday ..."

Happy Harvest

Well, here we are, the end of October. Sonora just turned 2 years old, and what an amazing time we have had with her so far! She is truly the joy of our lives. She is such a sweet girl. Strong willed - yes, but she is amazingly sweet and affectionate and loving.We've been taking her to parks alot and letting her climb and swing and run around like a crazy girl Sonora's birthday was Friday, Oct 16th. We went to the Pumpkin Patch and to Oak Glen with my parents, but I would have to say the absolute highlight of the day for Sonora was the surprise phone call she got from her sweetheart Nathan Lee who recently moved to Kansas

We celebrated Sonora's second birthday with a small party at the Fullerton Airport. We went to a restaurant called Tartuffles which lines the runway.It's a seedy little joint with duct tape holding the seats together. The waitresses have eyeliner that looks like it may have just been added to over the years and hair with a definite 80's fullness, but the atmosphere ... well, you just can't beat it. Scrambled eggs, toast, hash browns and bacon ... the smell of coffee and glasses of ice cold milk. With that kind of a breakfast, I can't understand how the place is going under and closing this December. I wish I had the funds to resurrect it and turn it into a destination. Make it a real 50's diner with an aviator theme, have some really kind pilot available to talk to the kids who visit and offer short plane rides over Disneyland as an attraction. We invited all of Sonora's cousins and a couple of her favorite little friends. The place was full of kids saying "oooooh" every time a plane took off as they stared out the windows.

The plan was to have Sonora fly in to her party. Our neighbor, Ken, is a pilot and has been offering Daniel a plane ride for the last couple years. We were at the condo for an air conditioner related thing and ran into Ken and he again offered a ride. Well, this time I jumped on the offer and asked if he wouldn't mind if Sonora tagged along. HE was excited to give Daniel and Sonora their first plane rides together. Well, when Daniel went to put her in the plane, she was willing and excited. Unfortunately the carseat didn't fit, so Daniel came and ran the seat back to me, but he didn't think it through and left Sonora in the plane with Ken. He knew it was only for a second, but she saw him run away with the carseat while Ken was strapping her in and thought Daniel was sending her away on the plane with Ken! Poor little thing ... she absolutely freaked out and kept saying through tears, "don't want to. don't want to." and that was the end of that. He brought her back to me and flew alone with Ken as the rest of us came back home and had a Hello Kitty Airplane cake (that matched her home-made invitations) and ice cream and sang Happy Birthday. Sonora refused to open her presents. All she wanted to do was play with her friends and cousins.

Our house is half-packed. We are living in a state of chaos, not knowing what job Daniel will end up with. This weekend, he was blessed to go on the men's retreat at church on a scholarship. He also turned 38 on Sunday. We went to Disneyland to get his free gift card and let Sonora get all her pent up energy out. It has been such a whirlwind here.

We have amazing friends. I can't even begin to describe the faithfulness of our home group hosts and their unyielding consistency to help our cause. Mike and Christine Mueller have gone above and beyond the call of duty and have shown up with meals, helping hands, children to keep Sonora company, climbed in attics, moved heavy boxes, packed a ridiculous amount of tiny craft items, offered all kinds of services, prayers and friendship during this trial of ours. And these are new friends.Then there are the old faithfuls ... people who in the midst of their own everyday life, battles, journeys of raising their own kids and going through their own times have been there to support is. Rachel with 3 children always here to lend a hand. Amanda, driving from Ontario to help pack. Billy Martin stepping out in faith not knowing who he was helping and then being surprised it was us, old friends from long ago. New friends, Chris and Ashley who brought a stranger (now friend, Shawn) to gently wrap all the little china and tea party items and then carry heavy boxes and boxes down the stairs and move to my parent's garage so we could have more room inside to keep packing. All the calls and e-mails of support through prayer. Rick and Mary Bernard, Daniel's brother, Brian, my friend, Noble, among many others have offered us to move in with them when we found out we had 30 days to move out.

Then there is the story of amazing selflessness. Ryan and Michelle Crecelius, who were renting our home, gave it up and sacrificed their own comfortability so that we could be back in our home. Ryan said, "There's inconvenient, and there's devastating. What's happening to you is devastating and for us to move out is merely inconvenient." They realized that our pending adoption was at risk if we didn't get back home because that's where the original homestudy was done. To get another homestudy in a new place would be about $2500.00 and if we had to move in with another family, all bets would be off. Ryan even said that it would be so much easier for Daniel to focus on getting a job if he had a stable home base. No apartment would rent to us with no paycheck either. We have savings enough to go on for a few months if we go back home, but not enough to do a first, last and security deposit in a new place. So, not only are they moving out, they gave us a couple days in between so we could go back in and paint my bedroom back to periwinkle and have time to move our 20 years of stuff back in. All this with a smile on their face, they sent us home with the rest of the lasagna lunch they made and have been a consistent support the entire time, even though our chaos has turned into chaos for them. ONLY IN GOD'S ECONOMY can this true story be told.

Daniel is working tirelessly for Bruce Bender, an old friend who took Daniel in when he was a teenager. Bruce and his family have been there for Daniel and Brian over the years and when Bruce heard, he offered Daniel a job immediately. Bruce owns a company that is contracted by banks to fix up homes that have been repo'd. Daniel has been doing hard labor at a house in Glendale these last 2 weeks. He has been drilling the concrete to anchor the house for earthquake safety. Then every night, he goes online and puts out resumes and applications. He has been doing phone interviews, in-person interviews, and the extra blessing of Bruce is that he's allowing Daniel any time off he needs for an interview.

That brings me to the amazing network of friends who have been pouring in the leads and the tips for what jobs are available. COUNTLESS people have e-mailed opportunities to Daniel and we are so blessed and beyond thankful. Daniel is being diligent to follow up on these leads as we continue to pray for God's direction through this difficult time.

Sonora is in a state of confusion. We are including her as we pack and she is not impressed. She goes to her drawers, which were all labeled and she knew exactly where every toy was, and now she goes to empty drawers and says, " MOMMY! Little People all gone!" and then each day I have to remind her that the pirates are sailing to our new home, the little people will be there to welcome her and all her baby dolls and toys will be there for her to play with and are waiting for her to come to her new home. She has informed me several times that she has no intention of moving. No kidding. I said, "but Sonora, you will have pretty red walls in your new home." She yelled back at me and cried, "no, I like white walls!" What the nilly nelly is a 2 year old telling me about wall colors for??? Wait ... I know, I know, I can hear you all laughing and saying, "well Antoniette, she's YOUR 2-year old!"

I assume that next time I will be writing to you it will be from my home, the place I worked so hard to decorate and build over the last 20 years and I am so excited to go back. I have missed it so much, and I can only hope and pray we get to keep it

Daniel laid off

I am so tired of being uncomfortable. I mean really really tired of it.

I know that I am not here on earth to be comfortable, but to be holy.

I get that.

I hate that I have emotions.

I hate that I have the ability to cause people to stumble.

I hate that I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes when it would be more tolerable for others if I remained silent.

I also hate sin.

I hate compromise ... the kind that goes directly against God's word.

I hate that so many people have become so tolerable of things that are wrong.

I am here, in my "home" wondering where we will lay our heads to sleep in a month.

I hate that.

I have never lost a home. I lived in my first home from birth until I was 19 and I lived in my last home from the time I was 23 until last year. I am all about stability.

I am in the most unstable time of my life, at a time when most people are settling down and getting ready to enjoy their grand kids. Instead, here I am with a very energetic toddler and no security of where we will live or if Daniel will have a job that will continue to provide for our family.

I am sick at the thought of packing up and moving.

Still, in the middle of all this complaining, I am so thankful.

I have love.

I have a beautiful daughter who kisses me and sings to me every day.

I have a faithful husband who is hard working and will be diligent to make sure we are taken care of.

In the meantime, I will try and make hair bows to sell as gifts, try to get some extra haircut appointments, I will try to find ways to make some extra income here and there to help out while I do my best to be a good example to Sonora of grace under fire.

Above all, I have Jesus.

Someday

http://family.go.com/princess-picture-contest/who-is-the-fairest/someday-19068/

My dear friend of 20 years, Brian Perez, forwarded me this link and said, "Got Sonora Pics?" So I went to the website and saw this Disney Princess contest. "Who's the fairest of them all?"

I thought, "no ... I am not going to become one of those pageant moms who dresses up her kid in foofy dresses and tons of makeup only to subject them to judgement and exploitation."

I read on and the prize was an all expense paid trip to Walt Disney World in Florida. Anyone who's known me for awhile knows what happened the last time I visited Florida (slip and fall and an emergency flight home) Add to that, Daniel has never been on a plane, and with the income he gets from working for a non-profit, well, our chances of gong to Florida on our own are slim to none.

I already have a picture of Sonora dressed up as a princess (the criteria for the contest) from her first birthday. All you had to do was write an essay (up to 3000 characters) saying why your daughter deserves to win the Princess contest. 60% of the score is based on the essay, and the other 40% is based on the photo submitted.

You've seen the photo, feel free to click on the link to read the essay. Most of you, our readers, know Sonora's story by heart and have shared it with many when we were praying her into existence. How could I sum it up in less than 3k characters?

So, I go ahead and forward the link to everyone, I post it on my myspace and facebook pages. There's 2 weeks left to vote, so if you feel inclined, please sign up at the Disney site and vote for us. We get about 40 votes and quite a few e-mails and FB messages telling me the story brought them to tears. I feel like nothing I could write would be good enough to expose God's grace on us or His mercy and love towards us, and that essay certainly doesn't do my God justice for what He has done in our lives concerning Sonora's story. Still, people were kind and said they got blessed by it.

Well, I'm at my mom and dad's house today to bring Sonora for a visit. My dad says, "Sonora has 41 votes today." I said, "yeah - she needs about 4 thousand more to catch up with first place." He said, "that will never happen." (thanks alot dad.) Then I said, "well, actually dad, I am hoping more for the grand prize rather than the votes. I am going for the votes to get Sonora's picture in the lead so the judges will take notice of the essay. Did you read the essay?" He said, "yep." I had to pull some really old teeth here, I said, "what did you think about it?" He (disapprovingly) said, "lengthy." And that was it.

That's pretty much my life in a nutshell. My parents don't approve of me and it's been lengthy.

It's bothered me all day. Brought me to tears, in fact. Part of me is wondering if I am the pageant mother after all, not so much with the contest, but with my parents. I dress Sonora up and bring her to them and subject her to judgement and exploitation. So far, the judgement hasn't fallen upon her, but it's coming, I know it. She is still cute and cuddly and the apple of my parents' eyes, but history will repeat itself and soon she will disappoint them somehow, (like I did) and it will all come crashing down. They love to send pictures of her all over the world to all the relatives that they speak so poorly of. They brag and brag about her but never once have said, "Antoniette, you're doing a good job raising her, you're a good mom."

My parents can't help themselves. They don't know how to love properly, without conditions. They don't know how to approve, or encourage, or empathize or forgive. When Daniel found out that I was left out of my parents' will, he went to my dad and said, "Thank you for providing so much for Sonora in your will, but the way I read it, if Sonora dies before Antoniette does, then everything goes to charity and none to Antoniette, is that right?" And my dad said, "yeah, I'm pretty mean that way, Daniel. If you don't finish college, then I'm done with you." And that was that. Many times I wondered if it would be different if I wasn't adopted. I don't really know. One thing for sure, I am here to protect Sonora from them. Right now, she has no idea how cruel they can be. Right now, they are at her beck and whim, they would move mountains for her. In a couple years, when she begins to have her own opinions about things and when she doesn't want to perform for them, she will quickly see the difference of what it's like to be loved, and to be needed. My mom and dad need Sonora's attention. It makes them feel good. As long as Sonora smiles and says their names, gives them the affection they crave and does her job well, she will be treated well and the inheritance that passed over me will go straight to her. If not, all goes to charity and we all miss out.

I know that my parents aren't the providers of Sonora's future, but their assets sure can help make it easier for us to get her a decent education.

Before Sonora was born, I was told by an old friend of my mother's about my parent's plan. This woman came to me in tears and told me everything and how my mom talked my dad into leaving me out of the will. She planned to take everything and go back to Italy when my dad died. He had just been diagnosed with cancer for the second time when this all happened. At the time I was informed of this, I had no reason to doubt my mom's friend. In fact, many things she told me helped me to understand and make sense of my own childhood. I went home in shock. It was bad enough growing up not knowing your own birthparents, but now add to that being abandoned by the people who raised you, the ones you call "mom and dad."

Close friends who have known about this for the last few years asked why I don't just cut them out of my life, like a bad cancer. I prayed about it and I felt that God called me to love them, regardless of how they treated me. I was reminded of the verse, "forgive them Father, they know not what they do." If I am to be Christ-like and if I am to honor them as my parents, it shouldn't be because of their loyalty to me. It isn't even about my loyalty to them. It's about my loyalty to God, and His love for me, that can provide me with the strength to continue to treat them with respect and try to bless them in their old age regardless of any lack of kindness or love returned.

Now that Sonora has entered their lives, they have decided to give everything to her, as long as it bypasses me. Ironically, that is the part that makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I am pimping her out just for her to get her inheritance. I feel like she should get it regardless of who I am, or who she is. She should get it simply because she is their only grandchild. Whether or not she jumps through any hoops isn't the issue, it's hers because of the family she was born into.

Daniel and I don't have alot. Well, we have alot, but we don't earn alot and times are a little rough right now. I just want to make sure that my motives stay pure when I go to see my parents. I don't ever want to be there and hate them, like I was tempted to feel today. I don't want to be there and think to myself, "just get through this day, you're doing it for Sonora." I want to have the attitude that I am there to represent who Christ is in my life, regardless of any inheritance. The older and meaner they get, the harder it becomes. They don't have edit buttons on their tongues. Stuff just flies out, and it's toxic. It was one thing growing up with it and just surviving. Today, I felt like I was surviving for me and protecting Sonora at the same time. It shouldn't be that way with your mom and dad.

I wonder what Sonora will blog about me someday.

NO EXAGGERATION

7:00 AM this morning, I finished making scones for my precept bible study class.

7:45 AM thought, hmmm ... eggs would go nice with that, so I made a huge egg casserole. Daniel helped me rinse a bunch of grapes to take as well

8:00 AM made 64 name tags for all the women in the class (with help from Daniel) and I mean punching out little flowers, mini crosses and gluing & layering, gluing pinbacks on, etc ... not just the sticker name tags ...

8:50 AM get ready to leave, put the name tags in alphabetical order (of course)

9:00 AM say goodbye to Sonora and leave on the 5 fwy to go to bible study in Orange.

9:30-11:30 AM Precept study!

11:45 AM stop at Michael's on the way home to get more pinbacks for the extra women who joined the class

12:20 PM pick up Sonora at mom's house, stay awhile so Sonora can finish her snacks.

1:00 PM leave mom's house with Sonora, she fell asleep before we turned the first corner.

1:10 PM see baby running down the street by my home ALONE in the industrial area. Call 911 and chase baby down while driving on wrong side of the road.

1:30 PM cops get to me, sitting on pavement holding screaming baby in lap while Sonora is still asleep in back seat with A/C on in car.

now sitting here at 2:45 PM processing the day ... still can't believe this is my life ... seriously ... too exhausted to make myself lunch ... still can't get over the fact that within the 45 minutes that I was there with the baby, nobody was looking for him, nobody called to report a missing child ... still angry that so many cars passed him up before I got to him ... mad that they passed me up while I was driving on the wrong side of the road while trying to catch him ... soooo mad!

3:00 PM will start making dinner for close friends who just had a baby.

6:30PM deliver dinner to friends.

Wondering, am I really Wonder Woman and nobody bothered to tell me???

Thinking it may actually be possible ...

Stairway to Heaven

Some days it takes forever to get down the stairs. I can't always just grab her and go down because of the fibromyalgia, so many times I am held hostage to her whims ... whether she is dancing all the way down, stopping to watch a plane take off, looking through the railing at the workers over the wall or just plain in a slowpokey type of mood ... Sonora decides when we will actually, if ever, reach the very bottom.

little weirdo

Sunglasses...................................................Check

Cell Phone ...................................................Check

Gravity Defying Ice Cream............................Check

Bird Watching Binnoculars.............................Check

Inappropriately Placed Hairband....................Check

last post was nothing compared to this life's best!

So Daniel just came home from a conference in Palm Springs and Sonora jumps in my bed and Daniel came and turned on the Dodgers ...

no really, it gets better ...

and he has a bag of bugles,

I know ... doesn't sound that interesting, but hold on ...

and Sonora is licking the salt off and feeding the soggy ones to us ...

okay, seriously, I know this just sounds like it's going downhill, but here it comes ...

and I say thank you Sonora and she says "you're welcome mommy." while looking at me straight in the eye and I was touched by her politeness and her intent and I said, "Sonora, you're the best baby in the world." and then she looked at me and said

(here it is)

"You're best MaMa in world"

and I burst into tears.

I think that there has been no other more touching thing said to me in my life except when Daniel said, "will you marry me."

So there I was bawling in my bed and Sonora said, "Oh no! Daddy, Mommy crying!" And Daniel said, "No, Sonora, mommy's okay, she's happy." and Sonora was puzzled and said, "mommy happy?" and I smiled at her and she said in a confirming way, "mommy happy."

And I ran here and blogged it.

Now I know she has no concept of the world or the word best, but the fact that I say it to her all the time and she knows it must mean something good and she wanted to say it back to me, that meant everything to me and it was the best part of mommyhood to this day. I doubt I will ever forget it, but I have been told that these vapors of moments, these flashes of time escape us in the busy-ness of life, so I made sure to journal it.

Have a nice weekend ... I just did!~

life's best ...

I have been sick all week. Migraines, vomiting ... there were some moments that I didn't think I would pull through. I was puking and Sonora burst into the room and said, "Ma Ma, sick?" and then grabbed my leg from behind and held on for life WHILE I WAS THROWING UP! I kept saying, "Sonora please leave ... get out ... mommy needs a minute ..." in between heaves, but she wouldn't budge.

Finally when I stopped, she ran into the living room, came back with a Lego Duplo block and a toy spoon and said, "here Ma Ma ... eat this medicine ... feel better."

Oh my gosh ... at 22 months, the girl wanted to take care of me. I was stunned and so in awe.

Well, this morning I had a blood panel test done to see what's up since I have been feeling more and more ill lately. Sonora had been a real trooper these last few days, so I decided to take her to Disneyland and let her run around and get some of her cabin fever out.

We took a small detour to Chili's in Irvine where a dear friend of mine met us for a super spontaneous late lunch. We enjoyed our silly character of a waiter while we quickly swapped stories to catch up on life's recent events all in between entertaining Sonora who was trying her hardest to act like a grown up, though she just wanted to be silly and jump around. After lunch at the car, Vicki and Sonora had some fun taking pictures of each other, and Vicki was astonished at Sonora's mad camera skills. She was so impressed, she handed Sonora her own camera and we asked her to take some pictures of us ...Daniel joined us after work and we did Tiki Room with pineapple whip and I got us a spot for fireworks while he took her to see Small World.

On the way out, she wanted to stop in the little mini theatre on Main Street so I told Daniel I would go on ahead to the News Stand where I left a purchase to be picked up later.

I was there waiting and all of a sudden a crowd comes walking through the tunnel and I saw mouse ears in the distance. They were walking sooooo slowwwww and all these people were flashing pictures and looking at Minnie and her guest of honor. I grabbed my camera and left the empty stroller I was pushing hoping to catch a glimpse of some star so I could show Daniel when he finally made it through the crowd to get to me.

Imagine my surprise (okay, not THAT surprised ...) when it was SONORA that Minnie was escorting out of the park tonight! I said "Sonora! Are you walking with Minnie?" And she said, "Ma Ma! Minnie holding hand! THIS hand!" and she held up Minnie's in her hand to show me.

I video taped a bunch of it and took a few stills.What a great moment ... one of life's best ... to be looking for a celebrity and find the jewel of my heart being treated like royalty and then for her to be so excited to see me and tell me about it and want to share it with me! I am the luckiest mommy in the world!