We're not in Kansas any more ...

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly!

The Good...

Yesterday I went outside when I saw all the kids running around the place. I haven't seen them all weekend and wondered if one of their parents told them not to come over and bug us. They were playing tag throughout the complex. I brought Sonora down and she was giggling and screaming at their antics. She was having a blast watching them skate, ride bikes and run past her over and over. They finally sat down by us on the grass and I taught them a game. We were all sitting there in a circle hanging out and the boys wanted to hold her, so I let them. She was flirting away and smiling and cooing at them, it was hilarious until ...

The Bad ...

They were telling me of all the cool places they were hiding over here and one of them was the dumpster ... I mean INSIDE the dumpster. I was like, "Are you kidding me?" and they were like, "It doesn't smell in there at all!" And I said, "It SHOULD smell in there, where do you think all her dirty diapers go?" And then it hit me ... they were all holding her with their grimy dumpster hands! Ewwwww!

And, the Ugly!

So then I just sat there trying to hide my disgust as I was wiping her with my hands, knowing what was done was done and there was no take-backs. The kids were oblivious to my turning stomach and they got up and resumed their tag game. They all took off behind me deeper into the complex, and then I saw a guy come from the apartments next door and lean up, face forward against the wall about 4 car lengths in front of me. He looked a little old to be playing hide and seek with my kids, but I thought he must be "it" for him to be leaning up against the wall like that. Well, when he backed away, I saw the wet stream running down the wall and realized he just peed on the wall and then walked away, back off the property to whatever hole he originally emerged from. I was shocked. I couldn't even scream for Daniel like I wanted to. I didn't want the little kids chasing him down either. I just sat there thinking to myself, "Serious? Did that just happen? Did someone just pee on the wall in front of me in broad daylight? Was he drunk at 3pm? Was he retarded? Or is this as ghetto as it gets???"

I think to myself how I don't want Sonora to see stuff like this as she grows up. I am all grown up and I don't even want to see stuff like this ~ ever. I am sick to my stomach twice now in less than 15 minutes.

I wonder if I will actually die here. Will I live to see Sonora graduate high school in the year 2025? I doubt it. I have these feelings that maybe I am blogging for a bigger purpose than just getting things off my chest. Will she read all this one day and say, I wish I knew my mom, I wish I could remember her? I don't know ... I just know that never in a million years did I picture myself here, in these circumstances.

Since we are still without some major appliances, I went to the mission today to do our laundry ... They have a row of washing machines & dryers and Daniel thought it was a good idea to go there and do them all at once instead of going back and forth over the hill with no furniture or anything at the condo to place Sonora on or in. So there I am, right there with the program members: me and my unwashed underwear. This is definitely NOT the life I anticipated as a young bride. And yet, it's all okay (sort of) because this is where the Lord has me, and I know it's HIS job to watch over me and keep me in His perfect will and His perfect plan in His perfect time. I know I am always saying this, but please, pray for me. Sometimes I get tired of praying for myself. I don't even know what to pray and can't imagine what will come next!

Bed, Bath and Beyond ...

Hi All,

Well, showering has become something to me that is no longer taken for granted. I can't believe it's been almost a week, and every time I step in, I still say, "thank You Jesus!"

Apparently, AT&T put a message on my home phone number referring everyone to my cell phone, which is not our new home number. We were supposed to be able to keep our old number, which I have had for 20 years, but unfortunately, we are unable to keep it because it is based out of Fullerton and the lines won't reach to Buena park for some reason. Here is some trivia for all you who never knew this about my phone number. One night, a dear friend who is a radio personality called me up about 2 am (he was working from 1 am to 5 am in those days ...) and I picked up the phone in a dead sleep and said "hello?" thinking maybe something happened to my mom or dad ... All I heard on the other end of the line was, "did you know your number spells "Hi Sexsy?" I lived alone at the time and couldn't hang up the phone fast enough! It rang again, and like a glutton for punishment, I answered. I think I yelled something like, "this call is being traced!" and he said, "it's me, it's me, Brian!" And I was like, "what is going on?" And he was sitting there bored at work that night going through all his friends numbers and mine happened to be the most interesting and funny, so he called. So, when we see each other, it's still a standing joke every once in awhile if he says "Hi Sexy". Well, it's the end of an era, I guess. Now, we have a new number, but it won't be effective for about 2 weeks. The At&T lady asked me today if there was anything else she could do for me. I said, "well, a free cooler, or some t-shirts and visors might be nice ..." and she chuckled and said, "you have the best attitude.We have taken away your phone and Internet and you are still smiling. For that, I will give you 2 free months of service when it comes on, and I will wave all the connection fees as well. YAY US!

Anyway, Daniel and I had to make a Bed Bath and Beyond run. We bought some things we needed and I am asking all of you who get coupons in the mail, if you get any for Bed Bath and Beyond, or Linens and Things and you won't be using them could you please save them and pass them to us? The lady at the counter said we could bring back our receipt and get a retro discount! We need as many coupons as possible, she will apply the 20% off to as many items as we bought! We would really appreciate saving the money. we had to buy quite a bit of stuff like drawer organizers shower curtains, rods, a wall storage shelf and stuff like that. We had a shower door installed at the condo. I had no idea that buying a shower rod and curtains for 2 bathrooms was just as much as a permanent shower door!

I can't wait to get unpacked ... seriously. I am going to have everyone over who helped and we will have a little party and enjoy the property before all the families move in. You all did so much to bless us ...

OH! And I have a green tupperware drinking cup that went AWOL! Please, it's making me twitch! I can't stand the empty space in the cupboard ... and it's part of a matching set with all the plates, so if any of you happen across a tall, hunter green tupperware cup, please return it to it's family ;-)

Daniel is making Sonora laugh so hard, I think she MUST be peeing her pants! LOL

I am going to join the fun ...

Sorry this was a boring post ...

talk soon

Love, Ant~*

speechless

I am here in Daniel's office. I have a million thoughts racing through my mind. My eyes are seeing things blurry ... it happened during the pregnancy, the loss of my 20/15 vision. I am too exhausted to go get my glasses. That happened sometime after I hit 40.

I can't even believe where the Lord is taking me ... to a place I have never been, yet am so familiar with and so "at home" at.

The day before yesterday, some kid saw Daniel outside and asked him if he could ride his bike and skateboard on our property. Daniel said "sure." A few hours later, there were about 5 or 6 kids pounding on our door. I went to the door with Sonora and said, Daniel, your friends are here..."

Little did I know they were MY new friends. Appointed by God.

It was the welcoming committee that never ends. I asked them what their names were, then repeated them back making sure I go them right and they asked, "is it true that we can ride our bikes and skateboard here?" I said "yes, but you can't grind on the painted red part of the curb with your skateboards, or on the painted blue part where it's marked for handicapped parking, and if you break the plants, you never get to come back again because I won't have my husband getting in trouble at work because you can't skate right."

"Do you know how to kickflip?" they asked...

I said, "my generation invented the kickflip. Can you do a 360?"

"Oh, that's where you go in like 4 or 5 circles huh?"

"No, it's one circle."

"No, a 360 is like a bunch of circles."

"No, a 360 is named after a three hundred and sixty degree angle, it's a full circle, and a 180 is a half circle and you need to go back to math class!"

"Oh ... I get it, a 360!"

And the romance begun. Little by little until about 8 o'clock at night, the kids began swarming the place. They kept bringing more and more kids over and saying, "these are the managers, they are cool!" The constant knocking (banging) on the door, the screaming and laughing ... it was all part of God's plan to draw me into His amazing scheme. I knew it as it was happening, I was here for these street kids. Not because I am some obedient subservient wife, not because I am to help Daniel be an example to the homeless families in the program, but because He knew I could reach these 20-30 kids.

The next day, yesterday, I had to be at the doctor's with my best friend in Valencia, but I promised the kids I would bake them cookies. Our gas got turned on and the first thing I made in my new home at 2 in the morning was chocolate chip cookies. Daniel gave them the cookies and when he called me on the cell phone, a dozen little voices were yelling thank you for the cookies! It was like putting out food for a stray cat, next thing you know, kids are coming from all over the place and were surrounding me after I got home. They were telling me how the place I am living at is haunted and they saw ghosts there. I said "really, we are the first people who moved in here and we haven't had a chance to die yet, so how could there be ghosts here?" And they said they saw lights going on and off at night. I said, "yeah .... because maybe we like to pee with the lights on ... seriously, you are actually telling me that you thought I was a ghost?" And the we got into this huge discussion on ghosts and I told them how the bible says that once you die, you only have 2 places you can end up, and roaming the earth haunting people is not one of them. Then I got to share the gospel and we talked about the Passion movie and all kinds of spiritual stuff. One kid told me how his parents are in jail. We found out that the janitor at the apartments next door got caught stealing 400 dollars ... he still hangs out there though, I asked, "does he live there" And they said yes. I said, then it must be a bummer for him to have to live in a place where he lost his job. How embarrassing. They said, "oh yeah ... that's probably why he's still around, because he still lives here." I can't even write all the stuff they told me. I saw some pretty bad bruises on one kid. They ranged in age from 4 to 14. I figure that one of their older brothers is probably the one who tagged us.

By the way, we got tagged again.

Today, I was out with Sonora, who loves all the kids ... and Daniel was at home and they all came to the door and asked for me and told him to tell me hi. He thought that was funny.

So when I got home, I parked in the garage, and I heard someone yelling from over the fence ... "she's home!" And in about 3 seconds, they were all here with their bikes and skateboards and in the rain, they were just hanging out showing me their tricks and asking me life questions and it felt like home ... not home like in your house, home like in your heart. I knew why I was here. Daniel may have been given the job here, but I was given the calling, I know it, now.

There's no place like home ...

Hi everyone ... I am visiting you from Daniel's laptop. Yesterday we just got ethernet ...which I have no idea what tha tis, except that it got me to you, so for that, I am thankful.

Where to start? Well, it's been a week since we have been here in our new home. Thanks to Chelle for posting the moving day pictures ... it blesses me to see them and remember the awesomeness of that day. Everyone met at our home at 8:30 and we prayed in the alley. I broke down into tears before we made it back to the condo (what was it, like 30 feet?) and then it was like a hurricane hit. I was upstairs getting the last few things in Sonora's room packed and talking to Damian (Sonora's ultrasound tech) about what personal items were left to box up in our bedroom (Damian has seen me from the indside and out, so I figured she could handle my medicine cabinet and bathrom drawer contents!) and next thing you know, Sonora's crib is gone and her sleighbed is taken apart! It was surreal to walk downstairs and see the living room "missing" ... we had so many home bible studies there and game nights and long talks with friends and our first Christmas together and worship nights ... I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye ... I walked down the stairs and there was NOTHING in it except the pictures hanging on the wall.

Speaking of art on the walls, Rick and Mary Bernard took amazing care of all of our artwork and sentimental knick knacks. I handed over the task of bubble wrapping things like the little ceramic jewelry box I made for Sonora while I was pregnant the day before I found out whether I had cancer or not, and the teapot Daniel and I painted while on our honeymoon. It was hard for me to hand over tasks like that. It was also weird for me to hand over Sonora, but everyone loves her so much, I was able to get things done and know she was safe and cared for properly. Throughout the day, I would see her in Damian's arms giggling, I would see her asleep on Lisa's shoulders, I would see her being a camera hog for Chelle and also flirting with young Nathan Lee.
When it was time to come to the new place, we had a little convoy and broke for lunch. We had a nice little spread in the community room and everyone sat down together at the tables and ate and drank and got refreshed and refuled. It was, for a few moments, like we were just there for a lunch date ... and then, back to work!

The guys figured out, actually Chelle figured out, that you could back up the truck to the landing so everyone wouldn't have to go up and down so many stairs, and all the men really appreciated that! I couldn't believe how they got the entertainment unit up and in without a heave or a ho! God was definitely in the move. Of all the things that travelled over, we only had one casualty. Let's just say that come December, there will only be 10 days of Christmas ;-)

Daniel had a rough day. Every single person had to tell him to back off and go easy, but he ended up in Urgent Care that night. He burst some vessel or something and was bleeding like a Saving Private Ryan movie extra.

It has been one week and one day.

We still have no gas. That means: no hot water to shower with or give Sonora a warm bath or do dishes with. No way to cook in the oven or on the stove. If we want something warm to eat other than Eggos in the toaster, it's out to eat for us. The gas company people came out, got oil all over the carpet (AHHHH!!!!) and have been unsuccessful at getting gas to our unit. Something about having to move the line 5 feet ...

We still have no phone line. No way for people to know we are keeping the same number. People have called us and heard the "number has been disconnected" notice. They had to disconnect the number at our old palce to hook it up here, but have been unable for one reason or another. We have had the AT&T guys here all day, every day since last Monday. I need to make alot of change of address calls. I need to do my online banking, etc ... and until today, I have been itching to blog!

Every time you turn on the direct tv, the circut breaker shuts off and we lose power ... freaky? YES!

The washer and dryer have been ordered, but haven't found their way to our home yet ... but even if they were here, since there is no gas, there is no way to dry the clothes! We had all the utilities shut off at the condo, but I called and had to get them all turned back on so I could go there and shower and do Sonora's mound of spitty burp cloths.

Yesterday, when Daniel had his work internet installed, they accidentally had the lines going into Sonora's room instead of the office, so now we have this cable running along the carpet from our bedroom closet down the hall and around the corner going into the office. We have to be careful not to trip. Well, when he went to turn on our personal computer, the light wouldn't even go on! OH MY GOSH! All of Sonora's pictures since the day she was born!!!! We were in a state of panic. All he did was unplug it from our condo, drive it over here and try to plug it back in! Okay, so we put a call in to Brennen Wheelock aka: my superhero ... and Lord willing, he will be able to save the data and retrieve my precious photographs! I have a camera full of pictures to share with you all, but don't have the ability to upload them yet.

Honestly, you would think we moved to a 3rd world country!

This morning, we woke up and went to church. As we were pulling out and Daniel went to move the temporary security gate, I saw him shake his head and then walk over across the front of the property. We have been tagged. All over the columns leading into the place, all over the gate and also on the electrical box in front of the complex. I was so bummed. It was a sick welcome from some loser neighborhoodlum who doesn't even realize that he tagged a place that, with God's grace, could someday be his future home if he keeps on the path of destruction ... ironic. It made me mad, but then it was also like I knew this was what we were in for. I kind of have a feeling of giving in to the process that God is taking me through. Please pray that this is as bad as it will get ,,,

HA HA! as if ...

Anyway, here I am, it is getting dark and Sonora requires my attention ... I think she isn't too impressed with watching Starwars: The Empire Strikes Back with Daddy ...

Talk soon ...

Love,
Ant~*

Moving Update

Hey Everyone,

This is Chelle (not Antoniette) and she asked me to post an update on their moving situation since she is unable to access a computer at the moment. I am not nearly as talented at writing as she is so please take that into consideration when reading this :). She wanted me to truly thank everyone from the bottom of her heart for all the help everyone has been with packing and moving. In their new home they still do not have a phone line set up or a computer hook up so please bear with them as they get all of that situated. Antoniette said if you need to reach her to call her on her cell phone since they do not have a home phone yet and their home phone at their condo was already turned off. She said she apologizes for not calling certain people, however her phone book is still buried in boxes and she hasn't been able to find it yet. Hope that update helps...I am sure their computer will be up and running shortly and we will get to enjoy her amazing posts.

God Bless,

Chelle

*Here are just a few pictures below that I took on the moving day...they are mostly of Sonora and her bedroom (which I know was hard for Antoniette to leave).

*At the end of the post is a slide show of the entire move day...Enjoy!

Hope Family Housing Grand Opening Today

Well, today is the big event ... Hope Family Housing will have their Grand Opening. Many people will be walking through our new home and look around in awe and wonder at what the Lord will do there. Daniel and I will smile and nod our heads and shake hands and talk of the Lord's goodness and we will see the fruit of so many people's prayers and watch them reap the benefits of joy of accomplishment for a job well done. This project began in 2004 and has been through many stages from a dream to a hope to prayer to planning to needs to provision to execution and finally to today. Many groups and people have been a part of God's handiwork and His timing and many people have had a vision about this place that is nothing but good, and right and pure and full of hope and anticipation of what the Lord will accomplish there.

I have been too busy, too worried, too frightened, too sick, too shortsighted, too selfish, too frazzled to focus on all the God has been doing to prepare the way for Daniel and I to enter our new home. I don't want to be uprooted, but neither did Jesus. As my friend Bill put it, "Jesus traveled from the right hand of the Father and His eternal glory to the woeful environment of earth, trapped in a human body and voluntarily limited to the frailties of humanness." Let's face it, I am moving about 5 miles from home. In most places, that is still considered "home."

I don't want to be mature right now. I don't want to be spiritual, or gracious. I want to sit in the middle of the living room, MY living room or kitchen or bedroom in the middle of the maze of boxes and have you feel sorry for me and say, "let me fix this for you ... let me finish packing ... let me watch Sonora ... let me bring you a meal ... let me go get your prescription ... let me bring you some cough drops ... let me move some boxes ... let me minister to you, since you are about to enter a full-time ministry to others,

I want the relief right now.

I want someone to come in and rescue us and say, "it's okay, I'll be here ... go take a shower ... or a nap ... or eat your food while it is warm and drink your drink while it is cold.

I want some relief.

I am so tired, and it's a little after 4 in the morning as I write this. I just finished nursing Sonora and putting her back to bed, and making sure Daniel isn't bleeding through the dressing under his arm. They are both fast asleep. I am now getting everyone's clothes ready for the day and meals ready for Sonora and wondering where, in my new home that is currently filled with model home furniture, will it be appropriate to nurse my baby. When is it okay for me to feel upset that everyone traipsing through with their shoes on my new carpet that Sonora will be learning to crawl on in a couple weeks? When will the new place feel like home? When she first spits up on the floor? When she takes her first step there? I think I have to remember that (uh-oh, the spiritual me is coming back ...) it isn't my home ... and neither is the place I am sitting at now. It's all God's home and He is allowing me to live here, and there and anywhere He pleases. I should never be too comfortable anywhere that I wouldn't move for Him, or change wall colors for Him, or let people in and out for Him.

I am so spoiled.

I know that He is doing this, not to me, but for me.

Oh, and by the way, Sonora is doing just fine ... she has no clue that we are in a state of chaos. She is 6 months old. She is now in the fake cough/blowing raspberries stage. She is hysterical. Yes, I have heard that she looks and acts much older than she is. Daniel says, "well think about it, she started out from a 42 year old egg!" She is still a little baby with a toothless gin who can barely roll over, and yet drink from a cup ...

Here are some new pictures for you to enjoy!

This isn't funny anymore ...

Newsflash: Daniel just out of surgery last night.

The plagues have hit our home. I was telling my friend Jen last night, there are just some things you don't blog ... well, I guess it's now the thing to do ... blog it all and write a book later, just like Barbara Walters ... maybe I will have a Special on TV to watch one day ... or like a series like Little House on the Prairie, only call it Little Condo on the Highway.

Daniel had a boil under his arm, and it got to be so bad that he broke out into this fever and was really sick. Well, last night we went to urgent care, and he ended up on the operating table and they did a surgery! He is not allowed to lift anything, including Sonora for 2 weeks!!! Can you believe it????

WHAT THE HECK?

To top it off, I am so sick, I can't even believe it. Some throat/respiratory thing.

Maybe you all should run from us ... far far away ...

SAVE YOURSELVES!

HELP! and THANK YOU!

Anyone have a piano dolly?

A regular dolly?

We need help on the 10th ... Many strong men ...

We need trucks and people to drive them on the 10th

We need to pack the kitchen . Pots, pans, food in pantry, fridge etc ... Daniel will be working on the days leading up to the move. As much as I am perceived by many to be some type of super-hero, the truth is that I am not. I am a very weak, pathetic moving chick with no strength and a little 6 month old milk leach hanging off me most of the day. ANY more help from the cavalry is welcome!

We need some people to pray for us ... Daniel has been very sick and home from work (in bed with a fever) the last couple days and unable to do anything at all except moan and groan. He hasn't even been able to lift Sonora. Between taking care of him, taking care of her and trying to move, I am spent. I am so exhausted and discouraged. Please pray for me.

There are things I need that I don't even know I need yet ... anyone with moving experience, please let me know what that is ... like I have thought of leaving behind the vacuum cleaner and the other cleaning supplies (we almost packed everything) I can't think of what we need, maybe to remember to have some cash to tip the pizza guy on moving day? I don't know, my mind is fuzzy ... all I know is I left out all of Sonora's foods and stuff so she is covered. Everything else is like a blur ...

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU to Bob, Lynda and the girlies for packing the kitchen, entertainment unit, bedrooms, moving the boxes downstairs and watching Sonora! Lynda, thanks for not breaking our toasting glasses!!!

THANK YOU to Amy for packing the china cabinet and tea services and to Melissa for keeping Sonora entertained! Thanks for bringing food from the party I had to miss and including me in the gift!

THANK YOU to Pat Silagi for coming over to watch Sonora, then offering to pack all the art off every wall in the whole house when my mom showed up unannounced to visit with Sonora! It allowed me the time I needed to sit and make a bunch of changes of address calls to all the utilities and banks, etc ...

THANK YOU to Craig and Amanda for ditching the Angel game and coming over while Daniel lay sick in bed and moving all the filled boxes down to the garage! Craig, thanks for your patience while I went through all the clothes. Amanda, thanks for watching Sonora so we could get more done.

THANK YOU Chelle for offering your husband, your truck, your time and your schedule to pick me up and drive me places and take me with you when Daniel has my car. What a blessing it is to have some things I can look forward to with fun anticipation instead of dread right now!

THANK YOU to Ken, our next door neighbor who sat in the garage and assembled and taped every single box we had in there and got them ready and ran them up and down the stairs as needed! Retired Army guys rule!!!

THANK YOU Rachel for tackling my craft closet with the kind of meticulous attention to detail that I would have done it myself with! You blessed me!

THANK YOU Janet Harris for packing all Daniel's music, shelves and organizing it so it makes sense when we unpack it all! Thanks Marsha for entertaining Sonora!

THANK YOU Christy, Damian, Ivette, Rod, and everyone else who offered trucks and their time, we will definitely need it! We are depending on it.

THANK YOU Marisa for giving me a much-needed escape from the land of boxes and treating me to lunch! I needed that so bad!