Well, we got a letter from Holy Family a couple days ago saying we had to go to this mandatory class. It costs $150.00 and I am like - now what do we do? Pay the 150 and go, or skip it and pray for about 15k? If we pay the 150, are we weak in our faith? Or if we pay, are we just continuing on a path we feel God led us on in the first place? This class is only available 2 times a year, so if we don't go, then we miss out on an opportunity that may bring us closer to adoption. If we do go, are we saying we don't think surrogacy is even possible because of finances? Even if we pay the 150, it doesn't mean that God can't still bless us with miracle money for the surrogacy. Decisions, decisions. I filled out the form, but haven't written out the check or mailed it yet. The class is April 8th.
I'm too tired to even ponder all this. As Scarlett would say, I'll just think about that tomorrow.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Is it possible?
Our lives are so wonderfully amazing and complicated, and beyond blessed! In the last 2 weeks, we have actually had 2 completely unrelated offers from people to be surrogates for us! Our first offer came via e-mail from the sweetest couple. They have two beautiful children of their own. It seems easy to imagine that a woman could find it in her heart to offer such a gift, but then when you think that a couple, as a team, can go ahead and say, "yes, we will go through a pregnancy FOR YOU and sacrifice 9 months, and people talking and congratulating us when we run into them, and we will explain it is a favor for a friend ..." All that is entailed - it is amazing! This offer blew me and Daniel away. They said they weren't making the offer lightly, it was a serious offer. Wow. We called my parents and talked about if it was a possibility, but unfortunately, the finances are not available, and the adoption agency will not give us back any of our deposit. It would probably be about 40K total. Still, it was wonderful to dream about it and pray and ask God if there is a way for Him to show us. Even at 20K, we are not willing to mortgage our home and then not be in a position to comfortably provide if it ended up being multiple births - which is always a posisbility with In-Vitro - which is the only way we could imagine going forward with a surrogate. It would have to be all our genetic make up so we don't take a baby from a mother that partially belongs to her. We felt a peace about it and are just waiting to see if God has any other miracles up His almighty sleeve that He wants to show us.
So today, I get a phone call from another friend. She says, "I have something important to talk about with you." I ask what's up. She says, well, my husband and I were talking and praying about this and we would like to offer you the opportunity to use me as a surrogate so you guys can have your own baby. I couldn't even believe my ears - but I knew right away she was dead serious. They already have a precious child of their own. I almost wanted to chuckle - like, "are you KIDDING me God?!" What the heck is going on? I wouldn't even feel comfortable asking my friends to borrow their cars, much less their wombs, and God is providing us with the kind of friends who would actually DO this?? And not just the women, there are husbands involved here who have gone through pregnancies with their wives and know what it entails - the physical changes, emotional changes, and everything in between! My friend who offered today said she and her husband tried to consider everything before they offered and as far as they were concerned, they are serious about this. Wow. I told her, and I have to tell my other friend the same thing, that even if I am never able to have kids in my entire life, just the fact that someone would offer me such a gift as to sacrifice of themselves - whether or not money is involved is not the issue - the mere fact that a woman could carry a baby for me, someone who apparently can't, well, it just makes me feel so blessed that I know such people and am honored enough to call them my friends!
Obviously, we will be praying for God to show us which, if any, steps to take and to make it obvious if we are to be patient and continue with the adoption, or try and make a way for surrogacy. What an amazing life, in deed.
So today, I get a phone call from another friend. She says, "I have something important to talk about with you." I ask what's up. She says, well, my husband and I were talking and praying about this and we would like to offer you the opportunity to use me as a surrogate so you guys can have your own baby. I couldn't even believe my ears - but I knew right away she was dead serious. They already have a precious child of their own. I almost wanted to chuckle - like, "are you KIDDING me God?!" What the heck is going on? I wouldn't even feel comfortable asking my friends to borrow their cars, much less their wombs, and God is providing us with the kind of friends who would actually DO this?? And not just the women, there are husbands involved here who have gone through pregnancies with their wives and know what it entails - the physical changes, emotional changes, and everything in between! My friend who offered today said she and her husband tried to consider everything before they offered and as far as they were concerned, they are serious about this. Wow. I told her, and I have to tell my other friend the same thing, that even if I am never able to have kids in my entire life, just the fact that someone would offer me such a gift as to sacrifice of themselves - whether or not money is involved is not the issue - the mere fact that a woman could carry a baby for me, someone who apparently can't, well, it just makes me feel so blessed that I know such people and am honored enough to call them my friends!
Obviously, we will be praying for God to show us which, if any, steps to take and to make it obvious if we are to be patient and continue with the adoption, or try and make a way for surrogacy. What an amazing life, in deed.
Friday, March 03, 2006
It's Official! We're getting the run-around!
Well, yesterday was my birthday - another year older, maybe even wiser. Daniel went to work after we had breakfast together. He decided to stop by the agency to see "in person" what was going on and why we don't have a social worker assigned to us yet. All this time, we have been "waiting on the FBI and DOJ approval" ... or so we had been told.
Well, yesterday the story was: "we're just waiting on all your reference letters." Uh - yeah, you mean the ones our friends mailed out 8 weeks ago? MMM hmmm. She tried to tell Daniel that none of them had been received. Now one, maybe - but all 3? So I immediately got on the phone with Amy, and Daniel got right on the phone with Mike and Lisa and we didn't even bother calling Gary and Debbie because I saw her the week the letter was to be mailed, so I know she made it a priority. All mailed and accounted for. Sooooo ... ...
WHY THE LIES????
Again, I will explain: understaffed, over worked people tend to LIE and MAKE UP EXCUSES instead of just looking you in the face and saying, "we are doing our best with the resources we have to process you as quickly as possible." THAT - I would have settled for. THAT kind of statement, I would respect and maybe not like, but I would at least understand - BUT DON"T LIE TO US TO OUR FACE!!!!
Has my confidence level in these people's ability to provide me with a professional service been lowered? OF COURSE it has! I am now suspect of if they will place a baby in my arms and say, "here's a little baby with no drugs in it's system" but they will know otherwise. There are other things that make me leery of this agency - but to be fair, we have only dealt with one woman to this point. We're already in it for a few thousand dollars, and I don't know how to go to my parents and say - this is stupid, can we back out? The contingency of accepting their help was to go with this agency because it is the one I was adopted from. Well, obviously the level of integrity and service and gone down after 42 years. I don't mean to be ungrateful, or a pessimist - I just feel like we are getting the total run-around.
Saving grace? I'll tell you what the saving grace is - it is the fact that we are placing our trust in JESUS and not the agency, not the woman who is representing the agency and we trust HIS timing, not anybody elses.
I talked to Ivette last night and we were saying how this same time last year, she was becoming a mom (again) while Amy was becoming an underaged grandma and I was still without children and how none of it makes any sense. All 3 of us had our own plans in high school that we would fantasize about, and none of us got what we expected. We're all okay. We probably wouldn't trade any of our circumstances with each other - but it sure is odd how it all turned out.
Well, yesterday the story was: "we're just waiting on all your reference letters." Uh - yeah, you mean the ones our friends mailed out 8 weeks ago? MMM hmmm. She tried to tell Daniel that none of them had been received. Now one, maybe - but all 3? So I immediately got on the phone with Amy, and Daniel got right on the phone with Mike and Lisa and we didn't even bother calling Gary and Debbie because I saw her the week the letter was to be mailed, so I know she made it a priority. All mailed and accounted for. Sooooo ... ...
WHY THE LIES????
Again, I will explain: understaffed, over worked people tend to LIE and MAKE UP EXCUSES instead of just looking you in the face and saying, "we are doing our best with the resources we have to process you as quickly as possible." THAT - I would have settled for. THAT kind of statement, I would respect and maybe not like, but I would at least understand - BUT DON"T LIE TO US TO OUR FACE!!!!
Has my confidence level in these people's ability to provide me with a professional service been lowered? OF COURSE it has! I am now suspect of if they will place a baby in my arms and say, "here's a little baby with no drugs in it's system" but they will know otherwise. There are other things that make me leery of this agency - but to be fair, we have only dealt with one woman to this point. We're already in it for a few thousand dollars, and I don't know how to go to my parents and say - this is stupid, can we back out? The contingency of accepting their help was to go with this agency because it is the one I was adopted from. Well, obviously the level of integrity and service and gone down after 42 years. I don't mean to be ungrateful, or a pessimist - I just feel like we are getting the total run-around.
Saving grace? I'll tell you what the saving grace is - it is the fact that we are placing our trust in JESUS and not the agency, not the woman who is representing the agency and we trust HIS timing, not anybody elses.
I talked to Ivette last night and we were saying how this same time last year, she was becoming a mom (again) while Amy was becoming an underaged grandma and I was still without children and how none of it makes any sense. All 3 of us had our own plans in high school that we would fantasize about, and none of us got what we expected. We're all okay. We probably wouldn't trade any of our circumstances with each other - but it sure is odd how it all turned out.
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