Happy Birthday, Dear Sonora ...

365

Well, Today Sonora has lived her 365th day. Barely ... but she made it. She is just one summer long, just one winter long, just one spring long and just one fall long ... exactly.

I have been planning her first birthday party for the last month and have been having a blast. Yesterday was a difficult day for me. Sonora had an upper tooth break through and she has been playing with it with her finger, and also licking her lips and biting her lips a lot. Well, we now have chapped lips that have been cut by that tiny serrated tooth and she got her first bloody, fat lip.

She also has been cruising *walking around furniture, holding on* and pulling herself up on anything she can get a grip on. Well, she stood up while holding on to a dining room chair yesterday and lost her footing and caught the corner of her eye on the way down. She had a bloody eye.

No, no ... lest you think it end there, let me fill you in on the rest ...

My sweet angel baby has decided to turn completely around in her stroller while she is strapped in, wiggle out and stand up while I am walking along. This is especially a treat when I can't see her because of the sun canopy. Yesterday, we had such a day. All of a sudden I see the top of her little head and I moved the canopy shut and grabbed her wrist with one hand while I began slowing down the stroller with the other hand. She lost her footing and began falling backwards, I was still behind the stroller and let go of it to use my other hand to try and reach over and grab her and I was stepping to the side. As I did this, the stroller started sliding back towards me and began passing me because her feet were pushing it towards me. Now I am directly over her and she is sliding past me (still holding onto that one wrist) and I reach for her but since she is a moving target at this point, I totally miss and scrape up her nose from her eyebrow all the way down one side with my fingernail! Now, her nose is bleeding.

I do the motherly thing ... I lick my thumb and try and wipe it off as she is crying.

I finally get her calmed down ... by buying her a bunch of guilt toys at dollar tree which she proceeds to toss out of the stroller, gleefully, one-by-one as I am headed for the cashier ... we head out the door. In the parking lot, crossing the traffic with cars coming in both directions, I wave thank you to them for slowing down for us, and all of a sudden I see Sonora STANDING AGAIN in the stroller as I am pushing. There are many bags of items from Michael's, Dollar Tree and the Disney outlet weighing down the back end of the stroller. I firmly say "SIT DOWN, NOW!" to her knowing that all she hears is "blah blah blah" because we have never had the "sit down" discussion before, or the lesson or anything that would require her to obey such a command. Well, I guess the tone of my voice scared her enough that she immediately squatted and then toppled forward (which to her was facing me) and then all of a sudden, the entire stroller fell backwards from her weight and my grip snapped open and I unwillingly let go. The front wheels are in the air. This is all in the middle of the street, still both cars headed towards me. I don't hear any screaming. I am praying that she landed on some clothes, or that all the baggage broke her fall.

No such luck.

I scamper down and see her face plastered to the asphalt. She plummeted through the opening between the back of the stroller and the canopy. Her entire body was inside, and only the parts from the neck up were out. Of course .... the most important parts! She did the whole crying without making a sound thing ... the one where she has all the facial expressions of screaming, but no sound is coming out and then all of a sudden the floodgates break forth and WAAAAAAAAAAAA! Then she starts hyperventilating. I almost joined her, because I then saw her nose begin to swell and tiny little blood blisters form! Are you kidding me? Did she break her nose? I don't know. She cried loud enough for me to think she did. Daniel checked her and said she didn't, but her nose is definitely swollen about 3 times it's normal size. There was black dirt all over her tear-stained cheeks. I didn't do the motherly thing this time and lick it. I just held her in the middle of the street with the upside down stroller and I prayed with her and tried to comfort her as best I could. She kept yelling, "ma ma .... ma maaaaaaaa" over and over and I felt horrible for not being able to fix it. I then did the motherly thing as she began calming down and gently stroked her wet hair away from her cheeks and said, "didn't mommy tell you to sit down? see what happens when you don't listen to mommy? you need to obey mommy so these things don't happen. you need to sit in your stroller on your bottom and not stand up while mommy is pushing you."

So then I got her in the car and headed for the alteration store to pick up some pants that needed to be hemmed. They weren't ready at 2, so I had to go back at 4. At 2, I offered to come back at 7 right before they closed, but she said, no, come back at 4. When I went back, they still weren't ready. She said come back at 6. I put Sonora in her car seat, frustrated that I couldn't just go straight home, and I handed her a drinking cup that has water in the walls to freeze. This cup is what she drinks out of every day. It's very heavy, especially when it is full because of the weight of the water turned ice in the walls, and the contents also. Well, I go to the trunk where her food bag is to get her some bread sticks and this makes her very upset. I think she just didn't want me to leave her sight. She began waving and flailing her hands about furiously and of course, one hand is empty and one is weighted. So, she bonks herself in the face with the cup.

Now, she resembles Rocky. Not even young Rocky from the first movie, but I am talking old, worn out, haggard Rocky from like the 3rd or 4th flick! I give her the bread stick and say to myself, "people are going to tell me I will laugh about this someday. I will nod and smile at them, but call them idiots in my head because this isn't funny on any day, now or in the distant future."

I head for the bakery to drop off the cake jewels. I was holding the bubble wrap and all of a sudden, the bag inside goes flying out and they shatter. Yes, the ruby-red edible jewels that I purchased for way more than I should have were now a dusty mess of glistening, red powder. I proceed to go into the cake store as if there is any hope left in my day. I ask if I can take some pictures of her cake being made and they look at me as if to say, "How did you know we were working on it right now? Her party isn't until Saturday." I smile and think to myself ... "I watch Ace of Cakes. I know these things." Okay, they were probably actually thinking, "Are you kidding me? Why would we let you, your un-netted hair and your mangled daughter anywhere near the back room? You obviously can't take care of her properly, and we certainly don't want all the cakes to topple over due to your sudden extreme case of accident proneness!"

When I went back there, they had just finished forming the crown and were working on the monogram and the large pearls for the base. I was so excited, and so was Sonora. We had so much fun looking at all the goings on, and she charmed the bakers and cake designers. I showed Carolina the broken jewels and she said she would use them if I took them back and sorted through which ones were broken, and got all the dust off of them.

I get back in the car ... and head back to the seamstress. I should have been home hours ago. I get there, at 6 and my pants STILL WEREN'T READY!" She said, "hold on, I have ready in 10 minutes." I am thinking, I don't want 3 pairs of pants hemmed in 10 minutes, I want a decent job done. I wanted them ready on MONDAY when you promised them to me." That's what I thought. What I said was, "I offered to come back at 7, you have had me here 3 times already. I have a baby I am hauling around all day because I can't afford gas to go over the hill back and forth all day long for you. I will come back at 7 like I originally offered and they WILL be ready." Normally, I wouldn't care. I am pretty laid back about stuff like that since I am not working outside of the home. I give people a lot of slack since I remember what it was like to have deadlines and appointments to keep. This time, however, I was losing my grip on grace and mercy because I should have been home with Sonora, not dragging her all over kingdom come all day long.

I call Daniel and I begin complaining. "If you hadn't crashed the car, I wouldn't have to do all this stuff in one day. I could do it at my leisure, one thing a day, like I used to and not be worn out, not drag Sonora everywhere in the freakin' heat, not have to deal with incompetent seamstresses. I still don't have pants, I have a daughter that resembles a heavyweight champion and now I have to sort cake jewels! This is ALL YOUR FAULT! You are going to go get the pants, I still need makeup and now YOU are going to go get it for me, YOU are going to help me with these jewels " He said. "well, if I were you, I would have grabbed those pants and said "I am taking my business elsewhere.'"

I then began yelling and took advantage of the fact I could drive and still wave my one free hand around ... go bluetooth!

"Oh no you didn't just tell me what you would do ... the lady had all my pants half cut and in her lap, I wasn't about to grab them ... I don't have the luxury of a car anymore to be able to go somewhere else tomorrow, or pretty much any other day ... and you're NOT me .. try doing all of this AND breastfeed ... THEN we'll talk!"

He says. "Honey, I'm sorry. I tried to problem solve and you needed me to just plain rescue you. I will go get the pants. Come home and I will unload the car, I will go back over the hill and get the pants, I will get your make up and I will take care of you."

I SOOOOO married the right man.

Then my friend Michelle calls and says, "do you need any help tonight?" She came over and with a fine paint brush, dusted off all the crystal powder and chunks of glass-like shattered cake jewels. Come to find out, it was only 2 that broke and about a dozen that had edges chip. I woke up around 4:30 and then went into the kitchen and brushed each jewel with vegetable oil and then rubbed off the last fragments and restored their sheen and luster. Then I said ... maybe I should blog this, in case I ever do decide to laugh about it ...

Sonora's birthday wish list!

Sonora's Birthday is this Wednesday and her party is Saturday. Many of you have been asking what to get her. I want to be the cool person who says, "oh ... nothing ... your presence is presents enough!" BUT ... since you insist on showering the poor, deprived child with gifts, here are a few ideas that would make playing and learning fun!

* To avoid duplicates, please list any gifts already purchased from this list in the comment section (We PROMISE not to peek!) THANKS!

The Enchanted Toy Store, Brea: Sonora has a new favorite toy store! She is registered here:

http://www.enchantedtoystore.com/index.html

BOOKS: Sonora LOVES LOVES LOVES her books, and like her mommy, pop-ups are her favorites. She has already developed a respect for pop-ups and does not destroy them! I have been collecting children's pop-up books for over 20 years in the hopes of having a child, and now the days have finally come where I get to sit with her on my lap and share the pages I have enjoyed so much. Yesterday, my friend Rachel shared 2 awesome pop up books with me that Sonora MUST have!

One is Keith Moseley's Bible Alphabet. This book is extraordinary! I haven't done a detailed search, I just found this link to it on Barnes and Noble, but I assume it can be found elsewhere at a lower price.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Bible-Alphabet/Keith-Moseley/e/9780805412888/?itm=6

The second book is 12 Days of Christmas Anniversary Edition : A Pop-up Celebration by Robert Sabuda, although ANY pop-up by this artist would be amazing. Here are some in his collection that Sonora (and mommy) would LOVE to have:

Movable Mother Goose : A Classic Collectible Pop-Up (Mother Goose Pop-up Series)

Artist to Artist : 23 Major Illustrators Talk to Children about Their Art

Christmas Alphabet

America the Beautiful : A Pop-up Book

Peter Pan : A Classic Collectible Pop-up

Castle (Sabuda & Reinhart Present Series)

Uh-oh, Leonardo! : The Adventures of Providence Traveler

The Chronicles of Narnia Pop-up (Chronicles of Narnia Series)

Robert Sabuda's The Night Before Christmas

Wonderful Wizard of Oz : A Commemorative Pop-up (Oz Series #1)

Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Movable Mother Goose : A Classic Collectible Pop-Up (Mother Goose Pop-up Series)

Cookie Count

Saint Valentine

ABC3D

We have the beloved Jolly Postman series and are missing 3 of the books, they are:

Jolly Pocket Postman

Jolly Postman's Party

Jolly Postman/Jolly Post Office

One of Sonora's favorite authors is Karen Katz. When given the choice, Sonora always chooses one of her books! These are the books Sonora does not yet have:

Little Dos and Don'ts : A Gift Box Set by Karen Katz

Toes, Ears, and Nose!

Best-Ever Big Sister

Potty for Me!

Baby's Box of Fun : A Lift-the-Flap Gift Set

Wiggle Your Toes

Peek-A-Baby : A Lift-the-Flap Book

Twinkle Toes

Princess Baby

The Colors of Us

Excuse Me! : A Little Book of Manners

Daddy Hugs

Mommy Hugs

I Can Share : A Lift-the-Flap Book

Over the Moon : An Adoption Tale

No Biting

No Hitting! : A Lift-the-Flap Book

Baby's Box of Family Fun

Baby's Day

Twelve Hats for Lena : A Book of Months

Princess Baby, Night-Night

Counting Christmas

Ten Tiny Babies

Where Is Baby's Valentine? : A Lift-the-Flap Book

TOYS: Sonora is also getting very interested in role playing with her Little People from Fisher Price. She has the Nativity set, Barn, Tractor, Pirate Raft, Tea Party and Zoo Train. She would love:

Dance and Twirl Palace:

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2053&e=product&pid=44747

Learn About Town:

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2053&e=product&pid=44778

Busy Day Home:

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2053&e=product&pid=41059


Lil Pirate Ship:

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2053&e=product&pid=35229

Shop and Learn Market:

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2053&e=product&pid=38451

Clothes: For those who simply can't resist dressing up my daughter like a doll ... which, I know, it's the funnest thing in the world ... she is fully stocked with clothes from 12 mos to 18 mos. She could use some things in the 24 mos to 2T range. She will be in summer clothes by then (Sonora is very tall for her age) and lucky for us, summer clothes are now on sale! Sonora has a gazillion dresses, but could really use some play clothes to crawl around in and be comfortable learning to walk in. Her shoes size is 3 going into a 4 in about a month, I figure. She could use socks, and mostly wears pink and brown combos.

Baby Dolls: Sonora does not need any more stuffed animals. She is entering her baby doll phase and I think that she would appreciate having some things that pertain to baby dolls, like miniature blankets, miniature baby bottles, play food, and stuff like that. She has a few baby dolls already in different sizes, but nothing to play house with.

Oh Sonora ...

My Baby,

In just 5 days, you will be 1 year old. I can't even believe it. I remember so clearly the last few days leading up to your entrance to this world. I was telling Daddy tonight that I can clearly remember each and every moment from the time I went into the delivery room until your birth. Everyone says you forget, but I can even tell you the conversations that were happening.

Today, you had your second tooth break through. It is your front tooth, on your left side. We spend most of the day in the community room here at home decorating for your big birthday celebration! You have no idea what has gone in to planning this event, or all the little details that make my parties special. I don't even know if you will grow up to care about such things. I want you to love tea parties and baby dolls and dressing up, but you may not care for any of that. I want you to enjoy the things in life that make you happy, as long as they are part of God's best plan for your life.

You have been trying all kinds of new foods and some of the things you really enjoy are Panda Express chow mein, stir fry rice, string beans in teriyaki sauce, Spanish rice from anywhere, quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches, french fries, apple slices, grapes, strawberries *one of your favorites*, thin bread sticks, m&ms on rare occasion, chicken soup, and kix cereal. Oh, also you like life cereal and corn chex cereal (all dry).

I probably should be writing all this in your journal, but I happened to be here at the computer and I wanted to let you know what I am thinking and this was faster. The last few days, you have been smothering me with kisses and hugs. I am honored to be your mommy and the object of your affection. It makes it hard for me to get stuff done, and many times I say, "just one minute" but I want you to know that every time I pick you up and every time I hold you close, my heart still skips a beat and I still thank God for you and your precious life. I love you more than I could ever imagine possible. You are worth all the trouble it took to get you here. I am so thankful that you are healthy and smart and sweet and kind and funny and everything that God made you to be. You are a dream come true for me and your daddy. We always talk about you, even when you are asleep. We still sneak in and peek at you and say things like, "look at how big she is getting" or "look at how cute she is with her little tongue sticking half way out of her mouth like that." Everything we do is with you in mind. We love being with you every day and blessing you and playing with you and being here for you and your needs. We even have fun changing your diaper and talking to you and telling you all about growing up and how it will be. We love teaching you new words and listening to you repeat things, even if you think you are saying BERRY but you are really saying DA DA, we love encouraging you to do your best!

We're not so fond of picking up all your books and toys every night, but we love watching you go through them and being so serious about your play time. We love dancing with you when Oswald comes on, or Dora. We love carrying you when you fall asleep on our shoulders. We just love it when you relax and lay your head on one of us. We could sit like that holding you forever and never get tired of it. We are so excited to see what the next year will bring.

I just wanted to take the time, while I had it, to let you know that you are my baby and I love you and I always will and I thank God for bringing you to our family. I hope I get to live long enough to watch you be a mommy someday, but if not, know that I will be proud of you if you stick with Jesus and do things His way. Please, Sonora, when the time comes and you hear God calling you ... please, PLEASE ... answer with a YES LORD! I promise you, my baby, you will not regret it.

Anyway, I need to go and get some rest so I can keep up with you. You are learning to stand on your own and take a few steps here and there. What a fun time for us!

Goodnight, my little angel, sleep well. I will see you in the morning ... or even before then.

XXXOOO
Mommy

Baby Girl Reclaimed

I am so thankful that my whole world isn't tied up in "obtaining" a new baby. I am so thankful to God that even before Sonora was born, our objective in life was not to strive to meet a goal of having children, or acquiring a child through adoption, but really, our life's mission is to serve God and know He is in control and trust His will for our future.

I got the call this morning from Danielle, our social worker. She said that we, indeed, were in the top 3, but that the birthparents reclaimed the baby. WOW. The first word out of my mouth was "Good." I think that was spoken from the perspective of being adopted, myself.

I then thought, "Wow. The Lord used us, and at least 2 other families to speak to those parents and get them to keep their baby." I felt honored that the Lord would use us and I in no way felt rejected by these people. I can't imagine everyone feels like that when they are "this close" to getting the baby of their dreams. I honestly, and I mean HONESTLY feel like if God made or allowed that couple go through all of this and had them look at all of our profile books and the end result was they possibly said to themselves, "we don't feel any of these people are good enough to give our baby to ..." then praise Him and His infinite wisdom.

I don't know how all of the other families who were consulted felt when they heard the parents took the baby back. Hopefully in some way, God will reach them also and help them keep the perspective that He has the perfect baby for them if it is, indeed, in His will for them to be parents. Hopefully there won't be alot of tears tonight and anger and frustration and hurt feelings. We are fine. Please pray for the other families that feel a sense of loss today, even if in fact, they actually "lost" nothing. Pray that they experience peace and can be secure in knowing God is still and always will be in control!

Still Waiting and Hoping for Baby Girl

Found out today that the birthparents have narrowed it down to 3 couples. Also, found out that there may be issues with Native American Heritage, so there are some legal things happening right now. If the baby is released from the tribe it is supposedly connected to, then it will remain in our agency's care until placement. If the tribe involved chooses to adopt the baby, they get first dibs, according to some law that I am not familiar with. This is very vague information and pieced together from conversations with people, so it is to the best of my knowledge without talking directly to our own social worker. Also, we are not positive we are in the top 3, but have not been told we were not picked yet, so it's looking good still. Thanks for your prayers!

Preparing ...

Yeah, the home is child-proofed and ready to go. We have the earthquake kit, the clothes if it's a girl, the crib, carseat and stroller, but the kind of preparing I don't have done is the personal stuff that I think, later on, will matter to my next child. Today I worked on birth announcements. I made one for a girl, which is totally different than Sonora's. I prepared Sonora's before I went to the hospital and all I had to do was insert her name, the statistics and a picture. The font was chosen, the colors were chosen, the graphic work was done way beforehand.

The day Sonora was born, I had paper and ink ready to make her hand prints and foot prints. I already had a scrapbook made waiting to put pictures in. I was prepared for those things. Now, as I wonder if "this is it" and we will get a call saying "come pick up your baby" I think to myself, "I don't want this child to feel ripped off." I had a gazillion ultrasound pictures of Sonora and just as many videos of her swimming around inside of me. I doubt our next baby will have anything like that. I want this baby to know it is longed for, cared for, wanted and loved. I want this baby to know that I was preparing along the way for his/her arrival. I need to get on the ball. This baby will have pictures of itself alone, without Sonora in every single shot. This baby will be it's own person, not just a little additive to our family. It will be special and will know it.