Just got called again ...

Okay, I can't take this ... Danielle just called me again and when I saw "holy family" on the caller ID I could barely breathe, but she was just calling me back to say that she needed extra cover sheets for our updated profile book. These are the sheets that the parents are allowed to take home to show family and friends when they are choosing the new parents. Now I am wondering if we made it to the top 5 if she needs cover sheets ... oh my goodness ... I am so excited! I need to seriously calm down. It's weird, going from not being able to have kids, to only relying on an adoption, to becoming pregnant and then knowing the exact day and the hour that Sonora was coming, to this ... utter pandemonium in my head wondering if this is "it" it's like an emotional water-breaking of sorts (I didn't have that either since Sonora was taken early) OKAY ... settle down ... jeez ... you would think we are having a baby or something!

JUST GOT THE CALL! BABY GIRL BORN!

Got the call from Danielle, our social worker, at 12:38 and there was a baby girl born Sept 26th. She is all caucasian and her birthmom is 20 and birthfather is 23. She admits to drinking vodka shots 4 times during the pregnancy and smoking pot twice. She was, however in the room alot with people who smoked pot and there was obviously second-hand inhalation. The baby was born at 35 or 37 weeks (5 or 3 weeks early) and weighed 5 pounds and is 17 inches long. She was allowed to leave the hospital in 2 days and she scored a 9 on her apgar test (like Sonora did). She is currently in the foster care system, so as soon as the birthparents pick, she is ready to be released. I am on pins and needles wondering if it is us that God has planned to be this little baby girl's parents! My stomache is in knots ... it is just like before Sonora ... I feel like I won't be able to sleep until I find out! (Which is ironic since I don't sleep anymore anyways ...)

Pray for this baby, for God's will to be loud and clear and that we have peace knowing He is in control, as He always has been. I hope I can stop hoping for this baby if it isn't meant to be mine. I know that last time I really wanted the little girl they called me on, I was pregnant with Sonora and didn't know it! (Yeah ... don't even say it out loud!)

Oh my gosh .... am I supposed to be doing something in faith like washing bassinet sheets? Am I supposed to just sit back and act like nothing since right now it is "nothing" ... but the possibility is that Sonora could be a big sister tomorrow!!!! OH MY GOSH!

And the countdown begins!

Today we passed our homestudy! Not only did we pass, but we passed with FLYING COLORS! Our social worker actually waived the $400.00 updating fee! We are in a pleasant state of shock and thankfulness to God for His provision!

What does all this mean? Well, back into the piles we go ... the profile book piles, that is. Now, we will be shown to potential birthmothers again and if there is a safe-drop baby, we are pretty much at the top of the list to receive it since we have been with the agency so long. Safe-drop babies are the children that have been anonymously dropped off at a fire-station, hospital, etc ...

We are very excited, and also a bit apprehensive. Tonight I was rocking Sonora and I had a few tears escape my tired eyes as I was looking into her unsuspecting eyes of trust. I felt like in a way, I was betraying her loyalty to me by introducing another child who will compete for my time and affection. I know in my head that it will be better for her, for both of them in the long run, but right now ... I feel like I just want it to be me and Sonora forever and I want to devote all my time, efforts and self to making her life as enjoyable as possible. I can't imagine spreading myself thin with no sleep for at least 3 months. Honestly, I don't know how all moms out there do it. Well, they didn't all start at 43 like I did ...

Anyway, please pray for our family as we will be entering another season of changes ... huge changes. Also, please keep the birthparents in your prayers when you think of them. We are hoping for safe people to interact with since now it's not just Daniel and I, but Sonora who will be tied to these people for life.

Okay, back to watching Dancing With the Stars *go TIVO!*

Sonora is registered at:

The Enchanted Toy Store

click to enlarge ...

Updated Birth-parents Letter

Hello Birth-Parent(s),

We’re Daniel and Antoniette. We don’t know if we are the first profile you have researched, or the fiftieth but we do know how important this is to you. We promise you that we will be transparent and honest. The pictures you will see were not staged for your benefit, they’re all authentic and candid. We hope that you take some comfort in this as you take your first peek into our lives. We feel grateful and blessed that you have taken the time to view our profile, and at the same time a bit vulnerable letting someone we don’t know have access into our personal life like this.

Thank you for choosing your baby’s life and future over your own personal comfort. It is a blessing to know that you would choose this road of adoption despite all of the obstacles and difficulties. I (Antoniette) am especially touched, since I was adopted through Holy Family as a baby. I am thankful to my own birth-mom and to my parents for the choices they made so many years ago that made my great life possible. I feel my experience gives me unique insight to the future needs of our children. Daniel and I know that adoption is not just about taking home a “cute little baby” or “completing our family.” We know that it’s forever. We’ll be guiding our children from infants to toddlers, from teens to adults and it certainly won’t stop there. We have been married for eleven years and I (Antoniette) still call my mom & dad for advice - even if just to get a favorite recipe, or find out where the cheapest gas prices are this week. We understand that parenting is forever, and we’re committed to facing forever together.

We have an awesome life and are excited to share it with our children. After 10 years went by without any pregnancies, we just kept loving each other and enjoying our time together. We prayed for the Lord to reveal His plan for our lives in His perfect timing and, we believe, He has. We began this adoption process in 2005 and in 2007, we became pregnant. What a surprise! We still feel that the adoption is God’s plan for our family and are so excited to be able to continue this journey with our daughter at our side. Our relationship is stable, and we maintain a safe atmosphere in our home. We’re ready & excited to provide a lifetime of love and support to your baby.

We don’t know how you ended up here, at Holy Family, but we can imagine it isn’t your favorite place to be right now. It is hard for us to picture ourselves getting any joy and happiness out of what may possibly be another person’s biggest dilemma. Please know that we, and everyone we know, are praying for you and asking God to comfort you and guide you as you make decisions regarding your baby. Even though we don’t know your exact circumstances, we know that we have one thing in common - a love for this child. We don’t know how it will all turn out, but thankfully we know the One who does. As a Christian family, we see ministry as beginning in the home and we would consider it an honor to care for your child and serve as parents in your place. We believe that regardless of choosing us or not, our future and yours is still intact and holds many wonderful possibilities. Please be encouraged!

“All things work together for good for those who love God and for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

If it is your desire to meet with us, we would love to meet you. We know you have a big decision to make. Know our thoughts and prayers are with you during this important time of selecting the best family for your child.

Thank you so much for considering us, and God bless you and baby!

Faithfully,

Daniel & Antoniette

Kisses, Kisses Smooch and Smack!

WOW! What a joy this morning was ... Sonora woke up and I went to get her out of her crib and she gave me a big ol' hug. As I walked down the hall, she said, "dad?" and I said, let's see if Daddy's in the office, and we looked, but no daddy, so I went into our room, and she was so excited to see him still in bed. I set her on the bed and she scampered over to him and planted a smoochy smooch right on his cheek and then sat back and stared at him waiting for a response. He slowly turned over and gave her a big smile and she grabbed his face with one hand and started pulling it towards mine. Her new thing is to "force us" to kiss. It's hilarious. Actually, she doesn't make me kiss Daniel, she makes him kiss me. If one of us is holding her and the other is near, she will just reach for Daniel's face and grab a cheek in those tiny claw-like hands and pinch till she gets some meat and then pull his face right towards mine. She will actually position it to face me and then put her hand on the back of his head and push until he kisses me. Last night she decided once he was kissing me she wanted to get in on the action and she dove right in between us and was kissing us also! Okay - writing it on paper doesn't sound as cute as it was, I guess, but it melted our hearts. Anyway, this morning, she was so sweet and cuddly, I wonder if she has any idea she is about to share the throne.

We got a call from our social worker today and we made our appointment for the new home study. It will take place on Sept 24 at 10AM. I have to get the house ready, update our letter to the birthmother to include the information that we do, indeed, have a child and make the extra profile book pages that will include Sonora. Wow ... lots to do.

Our anniversary is this Friday. It will be 11 years. I can't believe we are not spending it at Green Gables. I honestly can't believe it. Oh well, we have new traditions to make and a new family to consider now.

Thanks for always being interested in the goings on of our lives. I hope you have a great rest of the day.

PS I am now a face-booker. Another site to keep up with ...

Sonora's verbal arsenal as of today ... (in order)

Hi Dad
Book!
AY-nen (Amen)

Moo
All Done
Tickle Tickle Tickle (at least 3 x's)
Ut (up)
ahhh-choo! (fake sneeze)
Hand
On (used conventionally, or also in place of "help!" or "open this")
ffft ffft ffft (bunny sound)
Hidalda (translation = baby doll)

Sonora kissing Hidalda

OH MY GOSH! We had to get this for her birthday!

At the carwash

I forgot to mention ...

Daniel broke his arm! He was diving for a softball while playing in the church league and so was another guy and they were headed for each other and Daniel dove right into the other guy's hip. It was about 2 weeks ago, so he still has a month left in the cast.

What a cheap way to get out of diaper duty!