Bye Bye Miss American Pie ...

Well, not this little girl, not this time.

The birthmother gave the baby to her brother. This tells me that it was probably an involuntary relinquishment, and they took the baby because of the mom on drugs, so social services stepped in and tried to get her and the birthfather to sign off, but they didn't and they had to get a family member to take guardianship to keep the baby in the family.

God knows what's best, so I am cool. It is so much better knowing than wondering. I am fine, we are fine. no disappointment, no sadness here.

Also, Daniel talked to the chiropractor today and the other mom is about a month away from giving birth. She was given our info and hasn't called. He said she is leaning towards keeping her baby, which is always good when the mom is a Christian. It is still a possibility, but we don't want to solicit someone for their child, we want to be an option to someone who has a need. My prayer for that mother is that she steps out in faith and does what she has to do to trust God and provide for her baby.

So, back to the waiting, and back to a great life of sleep at nights, dinners for 2 ... and all the other great stuff we have going on until a baby comes. A dear friend pointed that out to me today. It's good now, and it will be good then.

Feeling Vulnerable

So, today I am here hoping that Danielle will call us.

I want this little girl.

I want this little girl for a couple of reasons. I think she is a fighter. She, somehow, got her weight up to 7 pounds in the middle of being fed drugs every day of her life in the womb so far. She needs a safe home, and I know I can give that to her. I know alot of other people can also provide a safe home, but for whatever reason, I want this little baby girl. Not just becuase she is a girl, either. I was thinking about it, and thinking how I was so against any drugs at first, and how the Lord is softening my heart, and how He is preparing me for whatever is coming our way. He may just want me to open up, and then end up giving us a baby with no druggie birthparents, we may actually get totally blessed with some nice woman who just "made a mistake" instead of a person who had the kind of lifestyle that would require giving up her child, or many children. This little girl's siblings live with their father, so what does that say about the birthmom? I don't really want to deal with her at all, but I still want this little girl. It feels weird to admit it to Daniel, to myself and now to you. I feel really vulnerable, and I want to make sure that if we don't get picked, that I am still fully able to praise God with all my heart because I trust Him and know He loves me and wants the best for me. I hate these moments of weakness. I hate feeling like I want something to the point of being disappointed if I don't get it. I like just living each day totally content where the Lord has me and I like hoping, but I don't like feeling let down. I don't want to be sad when Friday rolls around and there was no call for us. I don't even want to know about all the "potentials" I just want to get a call that says, "come get your baby" and be done with it. That's not how it's happening. So I gotta just roll with the proverbial punches and watch this all happen in slow motion. Thanks for joining me, thanks for being there. Thanks for praying for me. I am a little tired right now from being sick all weekend, and from other stuff that is going on. I really appreciate your reading these blogs and following me (us) along this journey.

Baby Girl Born Yesterday

7 pounds

21 year old mom confessed to doing meth every day and smoked every day

Her APGAR test was 8 at 1st minute and 9 at 5 minutes. 10 is the best score.

She is eating well and "healthy".

Birthmom wants 2 visits a year, I think she has 4 other kids if I heard correctly.

Back in the pile we go for her to look at our profile book.

Pray for God's will and our ability to recognize and accept it.

Thanks