Wednesday, October 15, 2008

365

Well, Today Sonora has lived her 365th day. Barely ... but she made it. She is just one summer long, just one winter long, just one spring long and just one fall long ... exactly.
I have been planning her first birthday party for the last month and have been having a blast. Yesterday was a difficult day for me. Sonora had an upper tooth break through and she has been playing with it with her finger, and also licking her lips and biting her lips a lot. Well, we now have chapped lips that have been cut by that tiny serrated tooth and she got her first bloody, fat lip.
She also has been cruising *walking around furniture, holding on* and pulling herself up on anything she can get a grip on. Well, she stood up while holding on to a dining room chair yesterday and lost her footing and caught the corner of her eye on the way down. She had a bloody eye.
No, no ... lest you think it end there, let me fill you in on the rest ...
My sweet angel baby has decided to turn completely around in her stroller while she is strapped in, wiggle out and stand up while I am walking along. This is especially a treat when I can't see her because of the sun canopy. Yesterday, we had such a day. All of a sudden I see the top of her little head and I moved the canopy shut and grabbed her wrist with one hand while I began slowing down the stroller with the other hand. She lost her footing and began falling backwards, I was still behind the stroller and let go of it to use my other hand to try and reach over and grab her and I was stepping to the side. As I did this, the stroller started sliding back towards me and began passing me because her feet were pushing it towards me. Now I am directly over her and she is sliding past me (still holding onto that one wrist) and I reach for her but since she is a moving target at this point, I totally miss and scrape up her nose from her eyebrow all the way down one side with my fingernail! Now, her nose is bleeding.
I do the motherly thing ... I lick my thumb and try and wipe it off as she is crying.
I finally get her calmed down ... by buying her a bunch of guilt toys at dollar tree which she proceeds to toss out of the stroller, gleefully, one-by-one as I am headed for the cashier ... we head out the door. In the parking lot, crossing the traffic with cars coming in both directions, I wave thank you to them for slowing down for us, and all of a sudden I see Sonora STANDING AGAIN in the stroller as I am pushing. There are many bags of items from Michael's, Dollar Tree and the Disney outlet weighing down the back end of the stroller. I firmly say "SIT DOWN, NOW!" to her knowing that all she hears is "blah blah blah" because we have never had the "sit down" discussion before, or the lesson or anything that would require her to obey such a command. Well, I guess the tone of my voice scared her enough that she immediately squatted and then toppled forward (which to her was facing me) and then all of a sudden, the entire stroller fell backwards from her weight and my grip snapped open and I unwillingly let go. The front wheels are in the air. This is all in the middle of the street, still both cars headed towards me. I don't hear any screaming. I am praying that she landed on some clothes, or that all the baggage broke her fall.
No such luck.
I scamper down and see her face plastered to the asphalt. She plummeted through the opening between the back of the stroller and the canopy. Her entire body was inside, and only the parts from the neck up were out. Of course .... the most important parts! She did the whole crying without making a sound thing ... the one where she has all the facial expressions of screaming, but no sound is coming out and then all of a sudden the floodgates break forth and WAAAAAAAAAAAA! Then she starts hyperventilating. I almost joined her, because I then saw her nose begin to swell and tiny little blood blisters form! Are you kidding me? Did she break her nose? I don't know. She cried loud enough for me to think she did. Daniel checked her and said she didn't, but her nose is definitely swollen about 3 times it's normal size. There was black dirt all over her tear-stained cheeks. I didn't do the motherly thing this time and lick it. I just held her in the middle of the street with the upside down stroller and I prayed with her and tried to comfort her as best I could. She kept yelling, "ma ma .... ma maaaaaaaa" over and over and I felt horrible for not being able to fix it. I then did the motherly thing as she began calming down and gently stroked her wet hair away from her cheeks and said, "didn't mommy tell you to sit down? see what happens when you don't listen to mommy? you need to obey mommy so these things don't happen. you need to sit in your stroller on your bottom and not stand up while mommy is pushing you."
So then I got her in the car and headed for the alteration store to pick up some pants that needed to be hemmed. They weren't ready at 2, so I had to go back at 4. At 2, I offered to come back at 7 right before they closed, but she said, no, come back at 4. When I went back, they still weren't ready. She said come back at 6. I put Sonora in her car seat, frustrated that I couldn't just go straight home, and I handed her a drinking cup that has water in the walls to freeze. This cup is what she drinks out of every day. It's very heavy, especially when it is full because of the weight of the water turned ice in the walls, and the contents also. Well, I go to the trunk where her food bag is to get her some bread sticks and this makes her very upset. I think she just didn't want me to leave her sight. She began waving and flailing her hands about furiously and of course, one hand is empty and one is weighted. So, she bonks herself in the face with the cup.
Now, she resembles Rocky. Not even young Rocky from the first movie, but I am talking old, worn out, haggard Rocky from like the 3rd or 4th flick! I give her the bread stick and say to myself, "people are going to tell me I will laugh about this someday. I will nod and smile at them, but call them idiots in my head because this isn't funny on any day, now or in the distant future."
I head for the bakery to drop off the cake jewels. I was holding the bubble wrap and all of a sudden, the bag inside goes flying out and they shatter. Yes, the ruby-red edible jewels that I purchased for way more than I should have were now a dusty mess of glistening, red powder. I proceed to go into the cake store as if there is any hope left in my day. I ask if I can take some pictures of her cake being made and they look at me as if to say, "How did you know we were working on it right now? Her party isn't until Saturday." I smile and think to myself ... "I watch Ace of Cakes. I know these things." Okay, they were probably actually thinking, "Are you kidding me? Why would we let you, your un-netted hair and your mangled daughter anywhere near the back room? You obviously can't take care of her properly, and we certainly don't want all the cakes to topple over due to your sudden extreme case of accident proneness!"
When I went back there, they had just finished forming the crown and were working on the monogram and the large pearls for the base. I was so excited, and so was Sonora. We had so much fun looking at all the goings on, and she charmed the bakers and cake designers. I showed Carolina the broken jewels and she said she would use them if I took them back and sorted through which ones were broken, and got all the dust off of them.
I get back in the car ... and head back to the seamstress. I should have been home hours ago. I get there, at 6 and my pants STILL WEREN'T READY!" She said, "hold on, I have ready in 10 minutes." I am thinking, I don't want 3 pairs of pants hemmed in 10 minutes, I want a decent job done. I wanted them ready on MONDAY when you promised them to me." That's what I thought. What I said was, "I offered to come back at 7, you have had me here 3 times already. I have a baby I am hauling around all day because I can't afford gas to go over the hill back and forth all day long for you. I will come back at 7 like I originally offered and they WILL be ready." Normally, I wouldn't care. I am pretty laid back about stuff like that since I am not working outside of the home. I give people a lot of slack since I remember what it was like to have deadlines and appointments to keep. This time, however, I was losing my grip on grace and mercy because I should have been home with Sonora, not dragging her all over kingdom come all day long.
I call Daniel and I begin complaining. "If you hadn't crashed the car, I wouldn't have to do all this stuff in one day. I could do it at my leisure, one thing a day, like I used to and not be worn out, not drag Sonora everywhere in the freakin' heat, not have to deal with incompetent seamstresses. I still don't have pants, I have a daughter that resembles a heavyweight champion and now I have to sort cake jewels! This is ALL YOUR FAULT! You are going to go get the pants, I still need makeup and now YOU are going to go get it for me, YOU are going to help me with these jewels " He said. "well, if I were you, I would have grabbed those pants and said "I am taking my business elsewhere.'"
I then began yelling and took advantage of the fact I could drive and still wave my one free hand around ... go bluetooth!
"Oh no you didn't just tell me what you would do ... the lady had all my pants half cut and in her lap, I wasn't about to grab them ... I don't have the luxury of a car anymore to be able to go somewhere else tomorrow, or pretty much any other day ... and you're NOT me .. try doing all of this AND breastfeed ... THEN we'll talk!"
He says. "Honey, I'm sorry. I tried to problem solve and you needed me to just plain rescue you. I will go get the pants. Come home and I will unload the car, I will go back over the hill and get the pants, I will get your make up and I will take care of you."
I SOOOOO married the right man.
Then my friend Michelle calls and says, "do you need any help tonight?" She came over and with a fine paint brush, dusted off all the crystal powder and chunks of glass-like shattered cake jewels. Come to find out, it was only 2 that broke and about a dozen that had edges chip. I woke up around 4:30 and then went into the kitchen and brushed each jewel with vegetable oil and then rubbed off the last fragments and restored their sheen and luster. Then I said ... maybe I should blog this, in case I ever do decide to laugh about it ...

2 comments:

HNC Family said...

Hmmmmmmmm........ this sounds familiar.......What's the connection???


oh yeah!!! It's like every third day of my life.
Not every day of it, cuz everyday would be extreme. But every third day sounds about right : ) Sorry

Chelle said...

OH MY GOSH YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST WRITER EVER!!!!!!!!! I was laughing the entire time, and this was the second time I had heard it. I only laugh becuase it is a very familiar story to me...I HAVE A BOY! Every day there are bruses, cuts, falls, screams and disobedience. I am sorry you had a horrible day....but that was one funnnnny story :). See you saturday.