I am so overwhelmed right now. Daniel and I came home from vacation refreshed and raring to go. The very next day, since I was unable to sleep the night before, I was scatterbrained and easily distracted. The phone kept ringing, we had many things to do and the last 3 days have flown by without us being able to finish child-proofing the house for the home-study. I can't even type a simple e-mail without blabbing about insignificant stuff even though my mind is running deep and contemplating many things.
We have a meeting scheduled for THIS WEDNESDAY for our 3 interviews. One with us together, one with Daniel and one with me. We were lucky I was able to persuade Danielle, our new social worker to do them all 3 in one day!
I am taking a small NEEDED break from getting our profile book completed to bring with us to the meeting. Yeah - I guess writing this blog is relaxing to me. We also have to have all our bank statements and supposedly be prepared for a very personal line of private questions. Friends of ours who have been through the process said that they were asked if they still have sex even though they were unable to conceive. Wow. What kind of question is that??? I don't even know what to expect now. I guess they want to know if the couples are doing okay and are in a good emotional state and their house is united enough to bring in a baby? I don't know what the heck it means ... why am I even trying to analyze it?!
Daniel has been putting safety locks on everything. We have been going over what pictures we think will accurately represent us in the book. We don't want to put too many identifying things like a bunch of family members names next to their faces, but on the other hand, we want to show that the baby will be joining a family with other great kids already in it.
We are editing and refining our "dear birthparent" letter. That is the absolute hardest part of all this. Talking to someone who will be giving their child to us. Here I am feeling unwilling to share my home address for fear that there will be a tearful or drunk knock at my door, but these people will be trusting me with their own baby. What will they be like? What are their families like? Does the birthfather even know she is pregnant? Will we be getting the phone calls telling us to read up on fetal alcohol syndrome? Seriously, I can't stop thinking of the many insane options that may be headed our way.
We could use prayers right now ... for discernment, for SLEEP for me, for clarity and wisdom.
Thanks, dear friends ... we appreciate all your support right now!
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2 comments:
Amazing isn't it. You're hoping for something for so long, you get tired of waiting. And then just when you start thinking that it will never come so I might as well get on with my life, then it happens. Then you start thinking, "Do I really want this?"
Bringing a small little baby into your house is no small thing, but walk in the confidence of knowing that you are a man and woman of God, and He will provide all that you need to be parents. Have NO fear. Just walk in boldness. Don't think to hard about all the variables that might come your way. God will not give you what you cannot handle. If you worry about everything you'll burn yourself out. God will prepare you for what ever it is when the time comes. You'll have time to learn what you need to know when you need to know. There will not be a final exam on the first day. Even in the worse case senarios that haunt your sleepless nights, you'll still have time to cope with the issues. Kids are resilient and you won't damage the child forever if you make a few mistakes.
I'm sorry if I'm just coming across as a problem solver. I'm talking to myself at the same time. Adopting a baby is a radical decision that surely surpasses the significance of the decisions we're making right now, but I can understand what you're going through. We're moving out of state where we have many many friends to a land where we have only two friends. We just bought a house site unseen and have to wait another three weeks to see it and then we move in two weeks after that. Sure we've seen pictures and video, but we haven't been there in person. Heck we only spent two days in the city as a whole. Also, a week before we move in, I start a job that is equal to my current boss's boss. It is so far out of my league I freeze up sometimes when I think about the responsibility I'll have. Then there's trying to help my in-laws find a place to buy so they can live nearby and knowing that my decisions are directly responsible for their desire to move out of state themselves. Then there's the fact that the mortgage payment on our house will be about 50% of my net income, and we'll be relying on savings and Carrie's income to make ends meet. Then there's trying to find a new church and a new preschool for Wes and new friends. Then there's learning how to live in the cold (it was 32 degrees there at 6am this morning!)
I better stop, I can feel my chest tightening and I forgot my high blood pressure meds this morning. All that to say that I know a bit of what you're going through. Hang in there. We'll get through it.
Yeah!!!! I will pray for those interviews.
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