I stand amazed ...

I thought I had an idea, an inkling of how it would be. I stand humbled, and amazed.

First off, I can't believe how many people read this blog and have asked me to update it ... I know that it is a testimony of God's grace and love towards us when you read about how He has delivered me and my baby from so many medical disasters. I guess I would be reading it also if it weren't happening to me! So, here I am updating it for you all. Let's just start by welcoming back a couple that has meant so much to me over the years. they have provided great support and throughout the pregnancy have been under quite a bit of pressure. They have suffered greatly as they tried to keep me going and were the cause of much tension at night when I couldn't sleep. Please, everyone, let's welcome back MY ANKLES!!!!! (They're baaAAck!)

And for those of you wondering, yes ... that is a cyber pedicure I gave myself ...

Now, let's talk about Sonora ... what can I say? Everywhere I go, people stop me and comment on how beautiful she is ... not just women, but men also. I was at the post office at the end of the line, and a clerk who was helping someone else stopped what she was doing and commented on Sonora. Then the whole line turned around to look as see who she was talking about, and then everyone was like, "wow ... she really IS a gorgeous baby ..." I have to say, part of me still wonders if she is a mutant-monkey-looking girl, and people are just being polite ... am I brainwashed by love when I see her as the most beautiful baby in the world? Daniel and I promised each other that we would not be that couple who has an ugly baby and thinks it's so cute. We said we would acknowledge to each other if she was (how does one put this?) "not a handsome child" ... well, when she popped out, we were instantly in love with her and saw her as perfect ... and began wondering ... is she actually this gorgeous, or have we become THAT couple ... the couple that doesn't notice the pug nose and the droopy eye? Is she really homely and we just don't see it? When the nurses began telling us how amazing she was, my instant reply was, "thanks, but you don't have to say that." And they would look at me like I was nuts. I just didn't want to have people lie to my face about my baby. Well, it started to get ridiculous when I would be at the pediatrician's office or babie's r us, and then the nurse or checkout girl would go and get other people and say, "You gotta see this baby ... she is so cute." Then I was like, "would people really go to all this trouble to make up a false compliment?" It's weird. I don't even feel a sense of pride about it ... like, I don't care what she looks like, as long as she is a kind, loving, honest, loyal, trustworthy, respectable woman full of integrity. I know I had nothing to do with her looks. I often wonder if it's the mere fact that she is a miracle that makes her so amazing to look at ... can people see a miracle and mistake it for beauty? I think that's what happening.I know this precious little miracle will break my heart one day. She will look at me and scream "I hate you!" when she doesn't get her way. She is a sinner, like you and me, and will require a big dose of God's grace ( like the rest of us) to be able to make it in this world. I want to make sure I am prepared for the future and when she isn't the precious little angel that I hold in my arms every night. I want to love her in spite of her tantrums, and shortcomings. I want to look at her and know that no matter what she does, I will still stand by her side and help guide her to becoming a woman of God who fears and loves Him above all things and people. Some of you may have seen me do this, some of you may think I am crazy ... but every time a group of people oogle over her and go on and on about how gorgeous she is, I whisper in her ear, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." That is the message I want her to latch on to and believe. Daniel jokingly tells her how the amazing beauty she possesses has a certain amount of responsibility. Seriously, it's ridiculous ...