Wait and Trust

Daniel is still looking for a job. In the meantime, I try my hardest to be faithful, patient, loving, kind. I fail miserably a lot of the time, but I keep trying. I try to not think about the things that I fear, like not being able to afford health insurance or the mortgage. I have friends and family that have recently lost their homes. I have friends and family that are moved back in with parents, kids in tow. I can't believe it, everywhere I look, there is some kind of chaos happening. Still, I am so very thankful that my husband and daughter and I have each other, and have the Lord. God is the glue that is holding us together through this difficult time. He is the one who makes it possible for me to stop after church in the parking lot on the way to our car and tell Sonora to go jump in a rain puddle. God is the one who allows me to be inspired to get people together to go enjoy the Christmas lights in local neighborhoods and then say yes when Sonora wants to get out of the car and meet Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus. Because of the hope God put in me, I do not sit all day long, every day, and worry and cry, like I sometimes am tempted to do, but I get up, go out and take Sonora to enjoy our Disneyland pass, or push her for hours on the swings and try to teach her to share and take turns. I have not been full of grace and always gentle and the law of kindness has not always been on my tongue. I have not been the best example I could possibly be. I have been ducking and shielding myself from fiery arrows that the devil has been throwing at me to get me to quit moving forward. When I mess up, I don't beat myself up anymore, I am just thankful that when I stumble, I fall facing forward, because it means gaining positive ground! Daniel and I don't know where the next paycheck will come from, or if it will be enough, but we do know that God is our main Source, our Provider, our constant Hope. We aren't about to let this trial overtake us. We have seen worse things happen than someone losing a job. We know that it is more important to keep our eyes fixed on heaven and the things of God instead of the present circumstances. I wanted to write a Christmas newsletter to put in our cards that had a storybook ending where Daniel got the best job ever and Christmas bells were ringing. Instead, I look at the last picture here, where all Sonora wants to do is meet Baby Jesus, and I am humbled, knowing that she has it right and knowing Him is all that should really matter.