Location Location Location

We're Moving

The next thing you would normally read would go something like this:

After months of praying, and looking for the perfect home, Daniel and I have found a gorgeous, yet affordable 3 bedroom home with a great view in a lovely neighborhood where the birds fly up and sit on the windowsill and sing to us as we eat breakfast and plan our blue-sky filled day.

(add screeching brakes sound here)

Friday, Daniel came home from work (which one, you ask?) from the Mission in Tustin, before leaving for Home Depot in Anaheim, and told me he was offered a position at Hope Family Housing, a transitional facility in Buena Park.

He (Since we got married about 11 years ago, this also translates as "we") would be moving out of our home and live on the premises as the facility manager.

Anyone who has been to our condo knows that I have spent the last 20 years making it a home, not just a place to lay our heads at night, but ... well, I won't go on, you all know me ...

This facility is in an undesirable location ... let me qualify that ... for the people coming out of rehab and for the families that were previously homeless, it's a gorgeous, sprawling planned community filled with light, love, golden opportunities for a new future and a tot lot.

Cue to the change of perspective.

To me, it entails leaving a view of green trees and a grassy hill when I open my front door, leaving my pool, tennis courts and jacuzzi, my attached 2 car garage, my fireplace, my personally designed murals on the walls, my 14 x 16 foot periwinkle bedroom, my perfectly planned recessed lighting that highlights my art on every wall, my built-in computer nook, my closet world closets (including the infamous CRAFT CLOSET!) my closet world garage with all the preplanned storage for my Christmas stuff, and a place for our bikes, Sonora's red room with custom upholstered window treatments ... the place we brought Sonora HOME to ... oh my God, I may need an inhaler ...

Let's take an ax to the nostalgic walk down sentimental lane. It's not helping.

The new location is between Commonwealth's Motel Row commonly known for homeless use and the Fullerton Airport, Magnolia, Dale and the 91 Freeway. When you sit at the dining room table, or open the front door and look out, you are a spit wad's distance from the roof of a machine shop - a machine shop that has no limit to it's evening hours.

Yes, I actually used the term spit wad.

Directly behind us is section 8 housing.

From what we gathered so far, you can watch the planes dogfight and hear the capguns go off if you sit on the balcony. I am trying to block out of my head the part about the flying lessons that will happen overhead.

I have yet to find a grocery store within 3 miles, though there are several liquor stores and a carneceria within a couple blocks either way, as opposed to what I now have, which is Utopia in comparison ... my German Deli, Michael's, Aaron Brother's, Lowes, Sam's, Costco, Every little restaurant you could think of, not to mention there will be a CPK opening within walking distance of where I am about to leave.

Our unit, which is actually lovely, a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, one level with great kitchen counters is located above everyone else's garages. So ... all hours, day and night, whenever people go in or out, we get the rumble ... (breathe ... breathe ...)

Again, it is all perspective. I mean, we aren't missionaries in Africa ... but hey, neither are YOU! Give me this moment to freak out and be bummed that my life is about to take a turn without a moment's notice. I am moving a block away from Orange County's version of skid row.

I know, I know ... think of Katrina, think of 9/11 ... I know ... believe me, I have been trying to comfort myself in every way imaginable. Still, this is big. Remember ...

C A L I F O R N I A P I Z Z A K I T C H E N

When will all this happen?

Grand Opening is May 8th.

WHAT?! you say ...

You heard me. (I say with a deep sigh and a shake of the head)

I need boxes. I have 20 years of life to move in a couple weeks...

...with a 6 month old.

Oh God ... does anyone have an inhaler I could borrow?

(fans self Sandra-Bullock-style from the movie Speed)

How did this all come about?

Well, you know ... my name is Antoniette ... need I say more?

Basically, this is an opportunity for us to move out of our home, rent it out and use the money to buy Daniel a new car. He will be able to work from home most days and if we stay there long enough, we may even be able to afford for him to finish college. This will also allow us to afford to complete the adoption of our second child.

I never thought when I moved out of my home I would be moving into a neighborhood filled with ex-felons, ex-addicts and the likes. Don't get me wrong, I am not sitting on a perch judging. Remember, Daniel has been working at the Rescue Mission for the last 13 years, and we have literally seen it all. We are so excited for the success stories, but we are also privy to the failures. We know the temptations these people face, we know their weaknesses and the statistics. I don't want to open my door to people crying to us about their problems ("what's so new about that?" you say with a chuckle) I mean, Daniel will be every one's case manager. He will have to be accessible and he is working from HOME. There is no office built into this "planned community" there is a "planned" office built into our unit, which you have to come in through our front door *our only door* walk through the living room and past the kitchen into the hall, see into our bedroom before turning to go past the bathroom and into the office, which I assumed would be the second baby's room, but I guess it is the office. When all my friends come into our home, it is with an invitation and open arms. God will need to teach me to have open arms, and an open heart, because right now, I not only feel uprooted, I am anticipating feeling invaded.

I understand that the Lord may be placing us there as a team for Him, not just because Daniel works at the Mission. It is Hope Family Housing ... key word: Family. I feel that it is no coincidence that I happen to be certified to lead Precept Bible Studies. I think the timing of Sonora's birth makes more sense now. How could we be an example to other families without being parents, ourselves? Would we ever even consider a move like this if Daniel still had his car and we were "comfortable." Why did God have to shake us up so that we could hear His call, instead of us seeking out something like this on our own to serve Him with our talents and strengths? Maybe I should focus on another keyword: HOPE.

Daniel will be working his 3 jobs for the next 8 weeks. I have to make this move pretty much on my own. We only have one car, and it's rendered useless as any kind of transport vehicle since I can't put the seats down with Sonora's carseat.

I am tired of asking for prayers.

I am tired of needing other people's help.

I want to go to Monterey and eat brie and crackers and watch the otters frolic in the bay and smell the fresh sea air and then go to the farmer's market (as a passerby, not a vendor!) and eat some kettle corn. I want to stroll along Ocean Avenue with Daniel and Sonora and laugh and say, "we have a great life!" as I take in the view of the waves crashing against the rocks and feel the spray of the water as it passes through the cypress trees to reach my face ...

Instead, I will pack up our things while Sonora sleeps for her 37 or so winks at a time, I will purge all kinds of stuff and have a major garage sale, I will keep Sonora content and happy so she has no idea that Mommy is internally combusting, I will make great meals for Daniel so when he comes home, beat, exhausted, hesitant to call the hospital to hear of how his mom is doing on any given day, at least he will be able to sit and eat a tasty, made-with-love meal ... I will try and learn how to be a landlord and find great tenants. I will be that Proverbs 31 woman to the best of my ability and then at night, when we are all in bed, when my head hits the pillow, I will be able to look at Daniel and Sonora with no regrets and laugh and say, " we have a great life!" because we are together, we have each other, we have the Lord, and really, that's all that matters. Besides, I fully get it. I know God will use these people to minister to me, not just the other way around, as I prefer to imagine it. I will learn from them ... I will be humbled and amazed, as I always am when He moves and I step out of His way.

Anyone wishing to join the fun, the madness, the chaos of it all ... give me a call. I could use help in the simplest of forms, such as you playing with Sonora while I put all the clothes I don't wear anymore into in a sell pile or load some boxes. We could use help in ways like telling non-smoking, petless people you know and trust that our condo is up for rent within the next month or 2. We could use people with trucks to take our things to the new place which is about 5 miles away. We could use you to spread the word when we have our garage sale to try and sell all kinds of home decor and also some art. We could use some encouraging words, prayers, jokes ... you know ... distracting stuff when you see a crocodile tear start to form in my eyes ...

Okay ... deep breath ... I can do this ...