Yesterday, Daniel and I went to the mandatory Community (Adult/Infant) CPR class. It was supposed to be from 8-5, but we left at 7 Am to get there, sat in traffic at the Orange Crush and then weren't out of there till 6 pm. I missed a ministry meeting that was important to me, and was late to a hair appointment that I scheduled for after the meeting. Daniel had to take a day off work.
In the big picture, it will seem like no big deal, but right now it seems fruitless. Especially since we will have to re-take the class and become re-certfied before the baby ever gets here and pay all over again! I know it is just another hoop, and we jumped through successfully, but here we sit with no money to fix the stairs, and no money to fix the fireplace and we had to pay all this money for the CPR class & certification that will be probably void before we ever even get picked by a birthmother! Not only that, we paid an additional (unexpected) 97$ to get 2 car first aid kits and a home earthquake kit (which is required by HFS and the state of CA) Luckily we got a deal on the 2 vehicle kits, they are normally 35 each, but they were on sale for Christmas at 19.00 each - so we jumped on that bargain. The rest was for the home kit - which we did all the adding and it was cheaper to get it from Red Cross than to go out and buy tweezers, and bandages and all the rest...
Why can't they just come in and do a home study, and let our book go out there, and then during the wait, we can work on getting the stair rails made closer together and save money and find resources to cover the fireplace?
I was talking to a friend of mine and I was saying the one good thing about all this is that I don't have to suffer through labor and delivery. Most women look forward to that - I never did. I always wanted to be a mom, never really fantasized positively about giving birth. Maybe because I am adopted myself - who knows.
So I guess it's fair - that I have to do all these emotional jumping jacks as my "pregnancy" - at least it IS do-able, and not in any way impossible. I have to try and not look at how easy it seems for other parents to get their kids. It seems that anyone can "just get pregnant" ... on the other hand, my sister went through 2 completely nightmarish pregnancies because both kids wanted to come out before 25 weeks. My niece and nephew are beautiful and healthy, but my sister went to hell and back to make that possible. I guess we all have our struggles and I know she wouldn't trade her struggles for mine, as I wouldn't trade mine for hers.
It's weird how the Lord really does give us what WE can handle - not what others can handle. He does seem to push us to the limits sometimes - and I know that I am no way near the limit in this process - I hope I don't even come NEAR the limit ... I think my limit would be a birthmom changing her mind - or a baby being in our home an then a birthmom trying to appeal - THAT would be my limit. You know what - it wouldn't even be my limit - because as a Christain, I have to be prepared for ANYthing, even the death of my baby and trust God through ANYthing, so I guess that this whole blog-post is in vain, because ultimately, nothing is beyond what God can take us through.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment