YIELD!

This is the day I want to take control of. This is the day that I want everything to go MY way. I want the birthmother to "pick me" and I want somehow to know that the baby will be born healthy. I want everyone to be okay. I want the siblings who watched mommy be pregnant these last 8 months to not have stress when she comes home from the hospital one day with no baby sister. How does all that happen? I mean, I don't know how old the other kids are, but if there are 3 other siblings, then that means that at least one of them is old enough to have somewhat of a clue as to what's happening. How could you not wonder what it means when mommy has a baby and relinquishes it?

I want the butterflies to leave my tummy ... butterflies is a "nice" term for the constant rumbling. I want to be able to tell Sonora, "PRAY HARD for a baby sister ... she is probably choosing right now!" But I don't want to example to her to pray hard for what you want. I want her to learn to pray for God's will and for the ability to not only accept it, but to love it! Like me, I want her to learn to yield. I want to be able to just flow with whatever He sends our way and be excited, knowing that all His provisions, or holding things back are indeed, a blessing.

I think her appointment was at 1pm today. I was praying then, and pretty much continuously all day. I don't want to wait until tomorrow to call to see if we "made it" into the top three or not. I want someone to call me before 2pm and say, "well, get the crib and carseat ready, by mid-June, you will be a mommy again. That's what I want. Instead, I will yield. I want to LOVE to yield my will to God's will. I want to enjoy, not endure.

Thanks everyone who's been praying for us today. I really appreciate the e-mails, facebook posts and texts. It means alot. Will let you know asap.