Sonora at 26 weeks

It has been a long while since I have updated this blog of ours. We are still in a state of limbo with my infection, and also Daniel's job. It seems pointless to come on here and say, "pray for us" because I know so many of you are. It feels weird to say I am frustrated, because I know that so many of you are relieved with us that it isn't cancer. I feel like if I complain about the burning pain I am in, someone will say, "Oh my God girl! Put a sock in it!" But the truth is, we are still in the middle of fighting 2 huge battles.

Daniel has no idea what is going on at the Mission. They interviewed all the internal guys 2 weeks ago, and last Monday was Daniel's turn. Now, they just got done interviewing all the outside guys. It would only stand to reason that they would hire from the outside, because let's think about it .... who would want to hire someone back at less pay and have to deal with the disappointed employee, when you can just get new blood in there who is happy to work at that salary because they have no idea it has been reduced by thousands. I really feel he will not get the job. He did get a job for a couple hours a week as a Hospice Chaplain - but it's only A COUPLE HOURS A WEEK. Other than that, he is in some freakish limbo waiting for them to ax him. We don't' know what day, we know nothing.

As for me, the pain is sometimes unbearable. I will be sitting here and then all of a sudden gasp because of a shooting fiery pain. My surgeon is still on vacation and his office folks wont let me take the tape off. I have no idea what to expect to see under there, or if taking it off will relieve any pressure I feel. I think we finally got the allergic reaction calmed down and we are now dealing with the original red band of horror again. Now, since they removed milk ducts, there is a whole new set of weird feelings on the right side. I can't tell what is "normal" for pregnancy and what I should be concerned about. I just sit here and say to myself, this is just probably regular stuff that everyone goes through" when I feel a twinge or something. I forget who I was talking to, but they said I was like some kind of Pregnancy in Wonderland!

Well, the good news is that our little Sonora has made it to 26 weeks!!! Just 10 weeks ago I was sitting in a hospital bed and they were telling me it could be the beginning of a miscarriage. Here we are and she is kicking strong and somersaulting and doing all kinds of amazing feats inside of me! Yesterday we had another ultrasound. I WISH we had a video of this one. As we peeked in on her, she was grabbing the tips of all her toes on her right foot with her right hand. Then when they zoomed in on her face, she was sucking. Not on her arm, or fingers, just her little lips were going a mile a minute. I was the cutest thing I ever saw ... like she was giving out a hundred little kisses! I am so glad that memory is one that is etched on my brain! They did get a still shot of her little lips going, it's a pretty good profile. There was also a shot of her with both hands raised up and palms up - as if she was singing a praise song. It was beautiful. They got a picture of it, but you can't see her second hand very well. One thing that is really noticeable is the presence of chubbiness. FINALLY! We were looking in on this skinny, skeletal thing for so long, and now we have chubby little cheeks and some fat on those tiny little arms. Her body is filling out and she is so adorable. I am so blessed to be able to check in on her and watch her grow. She is still flashing the camera as usual. One of our standing jokes is, "Well, she's still a girl!" because she is not at all modest. I can't think of one ultrasound where she hid her privates. This little girl has no inhibitions at all! We will have to teach her modesty first thing!!!

I want to say thank you, again, to everyone who has been helping us out, holding us in prayer, bringing meals, calling to check on us. It means so much. I can't even tell you how much the support has helped get us through this horrible set of unfortunate circumstances. We are so grateful to God for His provision of friends in our lives during this time. We are at the 6th month mark with the pregnancy this Saturday. It seems more like the 6 year mark ... but I have to say, my faith has never been so tested as in the last couple weeks. I am somehow surviving, and not only that, but knowing we are loved and cared for has been a balm to our weary souls. We sit there at night and talk about how we never thought so many people even cared about us. I mean, I know we can call anyone and go out and share a nice meal, or hang out and play games or something, but when the chips are down, and people still are there ... wow! That is a testament of God working in His people, calling them to fellowship, and to nurture each other and uphold the weak. I HATE being the weak one, I can't tell you how much I absolutely HATE it!!! I like being the one to bring good tidings, and presents and fun times. I am good at that. I am horrible at being the receiver of charity, and the subject of prayer. I am awful at being pergnant. I can't even walk on my own, I need the wheelchair and I am so swollen and my fibromyalgia is acting up and I can't even take an Advil. You wanna know something??? I miss Advil. I liked relying on Advils ... not on the prayers of a hundred friends. Now, however, I see the benefit, the importance of the hundred friends, and I understand more. I have more compassion now. I see how when I did stuff for other people, I was not the hero, God was. It is all making sense to me now.