I know it's been a little quiet around here ...

I've been feeling a little melancholy. On Monday after the shower, I got a call from the doctors saying I failed the glucose tolerance test. They wanted me to go in and take the 3 hour version, and I asked if there was any alternative to see if I had gestational diabetes other than sitting in the lab for 3 hours in a chair. When I took the one hour test. Sonora didn't move for 2 days after and scared us to death. Apparently, she had a really bad sugar crash. I didn't want to put her through that again. Well, I don't have to. On Saturday, my OB called and said I failed so miserably, that it's certain I have gestational diabetes and I don't even have to take the test. I go straight to an endocrinologist.

I swear, I am so tired of all these obstacles to a healthy pregnancy. I know I am older, but we are not just talking age here, we are talking full-on decrepidness! I hurt all the time, my feet are so swollen I can't even walk, I NEED exercise, but can't. I miss running around and getting things done. I want to get Sonora's room ready, I want to cook a bunch of meals on Mondays for the week like I used to. I want to get our lives ready for this little one so we aren't all disheveled when she gets here. I want to sort and launder clothes that everyone is giving us and be able to freely go up and down the gazillion stairs in this condo. I want to run ... I know it sounds weird, but I just feel like running sometimes.

I know, I know ... there will be plenty of running once she gets here.

I just, well, like I said, I guess I thought maybe after the shower I would turn some corner where I wasn't being plagued with constant health issues. I had all this hope, and in one phone call it was dashed. I even cancelled my appointment with the infectious disease specialist on Friday because I am so sick of him not knowing what is wrong. Just because I haven't written in here, doesn't mean I stopped going through it. Daniel still does not have a job to speak of and no news of the last day at his current job. We are in employment purgatory! I still have my lovely painful breasts that are supposed to be working by 3 months ... and wondering what the end result will be.

BUT ... in spite of being a little melancholy, I am still beyond thankful. I mean, incredibly thankful. I don't even know how I have it in me to be thankful, but I honestly am. We have been ministered to by so many people. We have received money to help pay for all the medical expenses and have a small cushion for when Daniel gets canned from his job, we have received meals, we have received cards, emails and letters of encouragement, we have received provisions for our daughter like clothes, diapers shoes, socks, etc ... I can't even tell you all what a blessing it is to be us ... even in want and need, we are so blessed! Most of all, the prayer support that has come our way is amazing and humbling. I can't even say what it has done for our weary souls!

Yes, I have not written in here in awhile, yes, I am feeling a little down, but it hasn't stopped us. We are still praying together each night and reading our bibles and going to church faithfully and trying to enjoy these last few months as just a married couple without children. We are trying to say goodbye to things in our lives that we know will never be the same. Today, we had to let our Disneyland passes expire for the first time in 8 years. Last night we went and watched the fireworks and I cried. It feels weird to HAVE to give the pass up. I wish it were us choosing to give it up. It's not that I love Disneyland, I love the OPTION of Disneyland. I always pictured going there with Sonora and just walking around during Christmas time. We did have a great experience yesterday though ... we got a picture in front of a mural that says "Once upon a time ..." and we told the Year of Million Dreams cast member that we wanted a picture with Mickey or Cinderella and me when I am pregnant, and then come back and take the same picture against the wall that says, "and they lived happily ever after..." once the baby is born. She loved the idea and set it up ... a private photo shoot! Mickey and Cinderella showed up and they had 4 security people keep the other guests away and Mickey and Cinderella posed with us for pictures and asked us all about our baby and said they would be happy to take the picture again when she is born! After we were done, they opened back up the entrance to the Animation place and allowed guests back in. We felt like royalty. It was the perfect way to say goodbye to an era.