Got the call

Well, actually got 2 calls. One from the OB who said, " get in to see the general surgeon right away."
I was like ... what? Surgeon? Shouldn't I have a SPECIAL surgeon, not a general one?


The next call was about 10 minutes later. My regular doctor called and said, "how are you doing?" I said, "you tell me ..." and he said, "we found something ... it's at 2 o'clock right breast. I want you to see the surgeon, make the appointment on Monday when they open." I asked which surgeon, he said Dr Petrie ... the one who was kind enough to remove the last tumor and leave the rest of my breast attached. I like him. My scar barely shows.


I mentioned to my doctor about the OB's suggestion to see the general surgeon and he said the choice was mine, and I choose Petrie. He's already been digging around in there and will recognize any old scar tissue he left behind and distinguish it from a tumor without chopping me all to heck. He does a decent biopsy as well. He let me stay awake during the last surgery, even though he suggested I go completely under, and I really appreciated that. He said he was surprised I did such a good job ... even hearing all what was going on and feeling the tugging. I didn't feel any pain, so it was fine. I figure at least I might have the option to not have a general anesthesia in case of surgery with him, and that will be better for our baby, Sonora.


I asked if it could be Paget's disease (rare breast cancer) and he said, "that's certainly on the table." The treatment of Paget's is mastectomy followed by radiation and/or chemotherapy.
Yeah, I am terrified of the worst case scenario, but we don't have all the facts yet. Last time I was afraid and it was benign, so maybe this will be also.


Please pray when you think of me. I am not worried about losing my breasts ... I am worried about losing my baby girl. I can live without breasts ... I can always get reconstructive surgery, but I don't know what I would do if this caused any harm to my baby. I will be 21 weeks along tomorrow.


I am tired of thinking about it. I blogged this on myspace in hopes of "letting it go" over the weekend and just copied it onto here so I wouldn't have to retype it all.

As of right now, I am okay.